Words of a Wolfe

Too Busy Being in Love

2011-08-08T22:07:00.001-07:00

- Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

This is the Day That the Lord Has Made

2011-04-03T10:14:00.000-07:00

"This is the day which the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." ~Psalm 118:24

It is SUCH a beautiful day today and my heart is filled with songs & praise & joy! Our world is still covered with snow, but the sunshine is warm and its melting rapidly. This brings me joy. The sun is sparkling over the snow like a million diamonds. This brings me joy. The birds are singing in the trees, I even heard a chickadee. This brings me joy! My son is outside playing with his grandpa and I hear laughter. This brings me joy! My mother in law is making home-made chicken noodle soup for lunch and we're invited. This brings me joy too!!

I'm listening to the song "Beautiful One" on GodTube. Its one of my favourites and it encompasses me today! Some of the lyrics:

Wonderful so wonderful is your unfailing love

Your cross has spoken mercy over me

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart can fully know

How glorious, how beautiful you are!

Beautiful One, I love

Beautiful One, I adore

Beautiful One, my soul must sing

I'm flipping casually through the Psalms and so many verses are jumping out at me to bring me more joy this morning.

"Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name." Ps 103:1

"My heart is overflowing with a good theme; I recite my composition concerning the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer." Psalm 45:1

"From the rising of the sun to its going down, the Lord's name is to be praised." Ps 113:3

"It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; To declare your loving kindness in the morning, and your faithfulness every night." Ps 92:1-2

"My heart stands in awe of your word. I rejoice at your word as one who finds a great treasure." Ps 119:161-162

And this one is why I love rejoicing & being in the great outdoors so much...

"Let the heavens rejoice and let the earth be glad; let the sea roar, and all its fullness; let the field be joyful and all that is in it. Then all the trees of the woods will rejoice before the Lord." Ps. 96:11-12

I just know that all of God's creation is in constant praise of Him (all except us humans) so its always a good reminder to me.

I hope your day is filled with some rejoicing as well!

Catching up The Purpose Driven Life

2011-03-31T21:28:00.000-07:00

I hate that I have not blogged for a whole week! We had family visiting from out of town & it was wonderful. I was sad to see them leave today.

However, my sweetheart also left today and we have been reading Purpose together so I'm thinking I should take a bit of a hiatus until he returns (as we were only sharing the one copy)

So we may not finish our 40 days of reading at the end of Lent but we will get it done together.

We finished up with Chapter 16 so I have a couple days to summarize up

Purpose Day 14: When God Seems Distant

This chapter was particularly good for me, because I am often finding that God feels distant to me, even though I believe that He is always there, I just constantly am seeking more obvious evidence I suppose.

God is real, no matter how you feel.
The deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving him when he seems distant.

Big fail on my part here. I think I close within myself first & foremost when suffering or facing trials. I do seek him out eventually, but I think my first reaction is usually anger & blame.

The most common mistake Christians make in worship today is seeking an experience, rather than seeking God.

Well, this really did hit home to me because as I seek God, I think I'm expecting him to do something, something obvious so that I will "just know" that its from Him.

How do you praise God when you don't understand what's happening in your life and God is silent?
- Tell God exactly how you feel.
- Focus on who God is, his unchanging nature
- Trust God to keep his promises
- Remember what God has already done for you.

Jesus gave up everything so you could have everything. Never again should you wonder what you have to be thankful for!

What an amazing reminder that is!!

Purpose Day 15: Formed For God's Family

God wants a family, and he created you to be a part of it.

The whole time I read this chapter I thought of the old camp song "Family of God"

"I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God,
I've been washed in the fountain, cleansed by his blood.
Joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod
I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God."

This chapter was very straightforward about our inheritence into God's family and how we'll be with our spiritual family much longer than our physical families here on earth. It reminds us that our relationship with other believers should be very important.

Purpose Day 16: What Matters Most

Life is all about love.

This chapter really hit home to my husband and I. We often find ourselves struggling with friendship relationships, struggling with Christian relationships, struggling to love mankind in general.

Learning to love unselfishly is not an easy task. It runs counter to our self-centerd nature. That's why we're given a lifetime to learn it.

This is more about husband-wife relationships, friend-to-friend relationships, this is pure love, like what Jesus has for all of us. No wonder we all struggle with it, but it is to be the most important ambition of our lives here on earth. It is lasting, it is eternal beyond death and it leaves a legacy afterwards.

The best expression of love: T-I-M-E

How true this is. If you love someon deeply, you will give them your time and desire theirs. God gives us all his time, oh how he craves for us to give him some in return.

The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.

Purpose Day 13: Worship That Pleases God

2011-03-24T09:39:00.000-07:00

God wants all of you.

Not just our hearts, not just our minds, not just our spirits, not just our bodies... all!

God is pleased when our worship is accurate.
God is pleased when our worship is authentic.

I know that everyone worships God in different ways, but there are still some "rules" as to what qualifies things as worship - repetitions & an empty heart just mouthing the words, or mentally checked out... those are neither accurate nor authentic. If we aren't worshipping with all of ourselves, we aren't worshipping.

Worship is your spirit responding to God's spirit.

I like that! As we are reminded that worship is NOT about ME, its our natural reaction to God, its something we must WANT to do, that comes out of us in response to God's awesomeness, his greatness.

There are many ways people draw near to God, because we are each unique individuals.

In his book "Sacred Pathway", Gary (Thomas) identifies nine of the ways people draw near to God:
(maybe you can find the one that you identify with the most)

"Naturalists are most inspired to love God out of doors, in natural settings.
Sensates love God with their senses and appreciate beautiful worship services that involve their sight, taste, smell, and touch, not just their ears.
Traditionalists draw closer to God through rituals, liturgies, symbols, and unchanging structures.
Ascetics prefer to love God in solitude and simplicity.
Activists love God through confronting evil, battling injustice, and working to make the world a better place.
Caregivers love God by loving others and meeting their needs.
Enthusiasts love God through celebration.
Contemplatives love God through adoration.
Intellectuals love God by studying with their minds."

Which one jumped out at you? The first definitely defines my personality. I LOVE being outside, surrounded by peaceful nature. I get overwhelmed with God's awesomeness when surrounded by his creative beauty. I wonder sometimes if that's why I can get depressed & feel distant from God at certain times of the year. Or even if I stay in one place too long. If I can't get outside into that reflective beauty, or if the beauty gets old to me, I know I start feeling stagnant. I know thats how I"m feeling right now, up north, because the cold & snow has kept me indoors. Not that I don't find beauty in snow, but I can't go somewhere new & quiet & surround myself with it, with God. And back where we used to left, the places I found still & beautiful seemed unspecial after being in them a million times. I was seeking a new natural setting in which to meet with God. I hope our next life adventure allows me to find these places again, but in the mean time, I am trying to meet God in new ways & new locations as common as my livingroom. However, I still crave to be out in some wild beauty with every fibre of my being.

You don't bring glory to God by trying to be someone he never intended you to be. God wants you to be yourself.

Well, "Be Yourself" is a phrase that has been hurled at us since we were old enough to understand it. And it stands true in our relationship with God. You may admire other Christians, but you were never intended to be anyone but you and that's the YOU that God loves & seeks.

God is please when our worship is thoughtful
-> If worship is mindless, it is meaningless.

God is pleased when our worship is practical
-> Real worship costs. You cannot exalt God and yourself at the same time. Its not always convenient or comfortable.

We shouldn't worship to be seen by others, or even to please ourselves. Its all about God.

Purpose Day 12: Developing Your Friendship with God

2011-03-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

You are as close to God as you choose to be.

Yeowch - truer words have never been written. Our relationship with God is all based on our choices, limitations and blockades. He's there, ready & willing & so desiring it. The one-sidedness is probably felt by him too. Aching for us to open ourselves to him, be willing to get to know him & love him.

I must choose to be honest with God.
Bitterness is the greatest barrier to friendship with God.

Not everyone is a "bitter person" but I think we all harbour some bitterness from time to time, and when we direct that bitterness at God, and hold it against him, how can we develop our friendship beyond that grudge?

Expressing doubt is sometimes the first step toward the next level of intimacy with God.

God wants to know when we're doubting, angry, faithless etc? He knows already so he would much rather we express it to him than carry on a conversation pretending that we aren't having those feelings. Many in the Bible expressed these sorts of feelings to him and were still considered "friends of God" (David, Job, Paul)

I must choose to obey God in faith.
I must choose to value what God values.
I must desire friendship with God more than anything else.

Ok, I'm working on these things :)

Purpose Day 11: Becoming Best Friends With God

2011-03-24T08:50:00.000-07:00

Catching up - haven't had time to get my thoughts into blog form this week but I'm still keeping up with the readings. PS All words in italics are direct quotes from the book.

Becoming Best Friends With God

God wants to be your best friend.

Seems like such a simple phrase but in a world where many friendships are so one-sided it sort of feels this way with God too - I'm not mature enough to recognize his side sometimes. And, my mortal brain has had a hard time grasping the trinity when I pray. I don't always know who I should be addressing and it feels confusing.

How do we become God's Friend?
Through constant conversation.
-> He wants more than an appointment in your schedule

I do try to talk to God throughout my day but I also like a set aside quiet time that I can focus on it more.

Practicing the presence of God is a skill, a habit you can develop.

Through continual meditation
-> thinking about his word throughout your day.

You can't love God unless you know him and you can't know him without knowing his word.

These definitely go hand in hand. What is a friend but someone you know better than a stranger? And how do you get to know people? By speaking with them, hanging out, asking them questions, learning about them, their character, their past, their hobbies, etc. We can't be God's friend without getting to know him too, not just always talking about ourselves.

Purpose Day 10: THe Heart of Worship

2011-03-21T09:04:00.000-07:00

The heart of worship is surrender.

Surrender is a negative word in our day and age. My husband and I discussed how it made us feel to think of the word 'surrender' and both of us felt negatively towards it. You think of defeat, losing, giving in... but surrendering to God is so much more than all of those incorrect assumptions we have about it.

Its the natural response to God's amazing love and mercy.
Offering yourself to God is what worship is all about.

I kind of get 'surrendering in worship' but I think of it as those special intimate moments, and God wants our surrender in our every day lives.

There are three barriers that block our total surrender to God: fear, pride, and confusion.
That desire - to have complete control - is the cause of so much stress in our lives.

Complete control! This is me. I am so afraid of handing over the reins to God, afraid that his choices won't line up with what selfish me wants.

Surrendering is not for cowards or doormats.
Surrendering is not repressing your personality.

I can still be ME and surrender to God? Well, not repressing my personality but it definitely has a few flaws that are getting in the way of me surrendering.

Surrendered people obey God's word, even if it doesn't make sense.

You let go and let God work!!

Instead of trying harder, you trust more!

Letting go is the hardest part... letting ALL the way go! I tend to turn things over to God and then keep pestering him to see where he's at with it, see if he's swaying it in my direction yet.

The blessing of surrender: peace, freedom and experiencing God's power in your life.

You cannot fulfill God's purpose for your life while focusing on your own plans.

After reading Day 10 I am reminded of how MUCH I need to "let go, and let God". And once again, my fave but often ignored Proverb comes to mind.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths." Prov 3:5-6

Purpose Day 9: What Makes God Smile?

2011-03-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

Its interesting that when I read this one yesterday I was having a little pity party for myself. I was having one of those 'lip-out - woe-is-me - I - only-want- my-way' sort of moments and I was feeling blue. Funny how the reading was about making God smile!

The smile of God is the goal of your life. Ooops, couldn't even focus on making myself smile let alone God.

God smiles when we love him supremely.
God made you to love you, and he longs for you to love him back.

All the examples from today's chapter referred to Noah - the one person loving & obeying God. Can you imagine our world getting SO BAD that there is only ONE godly person left on the planet. Heaven help us if it ever gets that bad again!

God smiles when we trust him completely... having faith that he knows what is best for your life.

I have a hard time with the 'completely' part. I'm so selfish that I want to trust him, but I know I definitely hold back where I think I have control. My pity party for example, is me not trusting at all. Me being bugged that I'm not getting my way in MY time frame.

God smiles when we obey him wholeheartedly.

Noah is a great example for this one. Build a giant ark nowhere near the sea? Ok Lord! Because its going to rain? Ok Lord (hmm, I wonder what rain is) Get two of every animal? Sure! (what the heck is a platypus?) He had total obedience even though I'm sure his faith may have waivered over the 100+ years of building this giant boat and being teased by everyone in sight, including likely his family. Oh to have faith & obedience like Noah did!

God smiles when we praise & thank him continually.

Ooops, another epic FAIL here. Whining & snivelling in my pity party... making a big deal out of SUCH a small deal... should have just been thanking God for all the blessings I DO have in the moment (and there are lots) instead of the one I was wishing for.

God smiles when we use our abilities.
God also gains pleasure in watching you enjoy his creation.

This makes me happy to know that God is happy when we are enjoying his creation. I'm such a lover of being outside in beauty, in the wilderness, in a valley, on a mountain, by a lake or on the edge of an ocean. There is so MUCH beauty that he made for us and when I can be surrounded by it is when I feel closest to God.

So, while my faith & obedience isn't as big as Noah's yet, I DO desire to make God smile!

Purpose Day 8: Planned For God's Pleasure

2011-03-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

You exist for his benefit, his glory, his purpose, and his delight.

This statement should make me feel honored & special, but why does it make me feel like a Muslim wife? Its my stubborn heart that tells me I belong to ME. I guess its the way of the world that drills into us women that we are nobody's property and that we remain independant. How far we've come from what God designed. And not just wives, men too. What man would consider himself someone's property, existing for only their benefit? We really have to adjust our way of thinking to wrap our heads around this thought.

He wants you to enjoy life, not just endure it.

Ah, this makes me feel a bit better. Not as a slave, but as someone who wants the love, and loves back in the same way. Where life is God's pleasure for him AND for us.

Bringing pelasure to God is called worship.
Worship is far more than music. I get hooked on thinking we are "worship singing" and the rest of life is not worship. Worship can & should be in every act we do, not just how we sing.

Worship is not for your benefit.
God's heart is not touched by tradition in worship, but by passion & commitment.

I like that statement. Too many Christians & churches are wrapped up in tradition & legalism that there is no passion, no life left in their worship... mundane, repetetive, solemn. How can a heart be free to worship with rules & traditions getting in the way?

Worship is not a part of your life, it is your life... doing everything as if you were doing it for Jesus.

Ouch... even menial tasks, like dishes, and bookeeping? Definitely not what I've been doing. Not that I'm doing them with a bitter heart, but just doing them because someone has to, not because I'm out to please anyone, let alone Jesus. Maybe those mundane tasks won't be so difficult if I can do them for Jesus.

Purpose Day 7: The Reason for Everything

2011-03-17T22:29:00.000-07:00

It's all for him.
Without God's glory, there would be nothing.
It is the essence of his nature, the weight of his importance, the radiance of his splendor, the demonstration of his power and the atmosphere of his presence.

In our selfish day & age, it's hard to grasp that everything that is everything is for God's glory. And without him, there is nothing. Everything! Nothing! I think my mortal mind is too small to wrap around this.

Creation reveals our Creator's glory.
We are commanded to recognize, honor, declare, praise, reflect and live for his glory.
When anything in creation fulfills its purpose, it brings glory to God.

I have to admit that I have a hard time feeling like I'm COMMANDED to give God glory. I'm so selfishly independant (or so I think) that I get all bristly when someone tells me what to do, or insists I do something. But how can I feel this way when I am nothing without God. I guess when we pretend that we are something without him, we don't feel the need to give him glory because we feel we don't need him. I really need to "get over myself".

In what ways can we give him glory?

By worshipping him
By loving other believers (I suck at this)
By becoming like Christ
By serving others with our gifts
By telling others about him (I suck at this as well)

But, now I know there are definitely things I need to work on, and that they are important. It won't be easy, immediate or perfect...

Living the rest of your life for the glory of God will require a change in your priorities, your schedule, your relationships and everything else.

Purpose Day 6: Life is a Temporary Assignment

2011-03-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

Compared with eternity, life is extremely brief.
Earth is only a temporary residence... don't get too attached.

While I can't say I agree with all the thoughts from chapter 6, I do have to agree that I'm feeling much more awakened to the fact that life is brief. With a live earthquake app on my iPhone, live feeds covering the nuclear disaster in Japan and the 100s of terrible pictures of the destruction of the earthquake & tsunami, yes, life IS brief here on earth, and it can be taken from us in a heartbeat.

Its easy to forget that the pursuit of happiness is not what life is about.
We are preparing for something even better.

I'm glad to know its normal for us to feel "discontent and dissatisfaction in life - longings that will never be fulfilled on this side of heaven."

But I don't agree that we can't find love & beauty & be thankful for all God created for us on this earth. He did create it to be our home for our mortal lives, I don't think that should be taken lightly like its just a hotel room we are passing through. Yes, we will still need to treat it respectfully, in gracious thanks, but I think we can also be in love with its beauty, be in love with its people and still have our future eyes set on heaven.

How does one change, to be an ambassador of heaven and not of earth when earth is all we know! I'm very attached to the beauties of this earth but I do know & understand that they are only a fraction of the beauties and wonders of heaven. I still have fear on this earth of all the unknowns that it can throw at us, especially this week with its earthquakes, tsunamis, wars & nuclear melt-downs. I know there will be none of those fears in eternity but they still deserve respect here.

Purpose Day 5: Seeing Life From God's View

2011-03-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

The way you see your life shapes your life.

When asked to think about what my life metaphor would be, the one word that came to mind first is: adventure. I'm not sure if that is a great definition but I do know that it does define & explain a lot of things. And perhaps its why I'm not very good at staying in one place, in finding contentment. I like to seek new things, new places, new people & even new things, although "things" aren't that high of a priority as change in location & experiences.

Life is a Test
You will be tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticism, and even senseless tragedies.

I would say I have noticed and experienced all forms of these tests in the last few years and unfortunately, I've probably failed at many of them in my lack of faith, my impatience and my anger at God for allowing such things. I feel weakened when I feel God is being silent, that turns to weaken my faith & then build up resentment.

I know God wants us to pass these tests and grants us the grace to handle them, but I do see myself failing miserably at them in hindsight.

Life is a Trust
Our time on earth and our energy, intelligence, opportunities, relationships and resources are all gifts from God that he has entrusted to our care and management.

Ugh - I know I'm sucking at being a steward as well. Not so much in the 'save the world & protect our children' sort of thinking, but those words RELATIONSHIPS and OPPORTUNITIES are probably where I'm failing the most because I don't let people in, or rather, I feel like there is a lack of people who are interested so I quit trying to force the issue or it feels one-sided.

The more God gives you, the more responsible he expects you to be.

Well, if I want to be blessed with gifts & rewards & more joys, then its time to find it within myself to pass those tests, be a better steward & live my life metaphor in a way that has eternity in mind!

Purpose Day 4: Made to Last Forever

2011-03-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

Got two days to catch up on today as we were travelling this weekend so I didn't make the time to blog, but we did (my husband & I are reading together) read Day 4 on Saturday and took Sunday off while we drove all day, resumed Day 5 today.

Day 4 - Made to Last Forever

This life is not all there is!
You have an inborn instinct that longs for immortality.
The closer you live to God, the smaller everything else appears.
Your priorities are re-ordered... when you live in light of eternity.

There's lots of things I should be considering trivial in light of eternity but I don't think this means we should stop living, stop enjoying this world, or our hobbies, or our friends, but I do know I need a better balance.

Especially in light of what's going on in Japan, I think its a good reminder that our life here on earth is fleeting, its not within our own control and that we do need to make best of the time we have here on it, as it could be gone in an instant.

I'm not good with people and the last few years have definitely made me more cynical & bitter towards people, being let down by too many or expecting too much of others. While I long for relationships, I relish in my hermit-ness. Its like I want to be around people & make new friends, but don't make the effort to get out of my comfort zone enough.

I'm realizing that if I want to learn to have relationships, quality relationships, with other people, I need to spend more time persuing my relationship with Jesus. Only learning to love, and BE LOVED by him, can make other relationships real, blessed and have purpose. If I can't talk to Jesus, well, about Jesus, and about myself, especially knowing he already knows the good, the bad, and the ugly, how can I learn to talk to others & share who HE is when I haven't taken the time to find out enough about him. My relationship with him should be my priority.

Then, when I get to the other side of this life, when eternity begins, I won't have missed out on all the opportunities to have that relationship with Jesus, and I will have found some confidence in sharing with others all the wonders & benefits & joys of this relationship with him as well.

What is it going to be like in eternity with God? Frankly, the capacity of our brains cannot handle the wonder and greatness of heaven. It would be like trying to describe the Internet to an ant. It's futile. Words have not been invented that could possibly convey the experience of eternity.

Even in my lack of priorities for this life on earth, the thought of heaven & eternity still excites me. I'm a big fan of Randy Alcorn books and the way he describes & interprets heaven. Its like thinking of all the best & most wonderful sights, experiences, senses and beauty that you can possibly imagine here on earth and then multiplying that wonderfulness by a bazillion. I think of all the beautiful places I've hiked or would like to hike, and then think that God has created for me a hiking environment more beautiful, more awesome than any of those I've seen here, and He's made it just for me because he knows how much I'll love it, and love him for it. That kind of love, creating that kind of beauty, overwhelms me a bit, but I know I am only just touching on the edge of wonderfulness, confined by the limits of my mortal brain.

So, I do like thinking of this world, and its wonders, as a staging room for the wonder of eternity... but I do think I'm slightly focusing on the wrong thing. What am I doing in this staging room that is at all purposeful or beneficial in light of eternity? Maybe I need to start there first!

Purpose Day 3: What Drives Your Life?

2011-03-11T20:22:00.000-08:00

Today's chapter was much more in-depth. What Drives Your Life? It was broken down that there are 5 main things that drive people. Here are some of the quotes I high-lighted from each.

1. Guilt
We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.

2. Resentment & Anger: This one stung a little bit because I know it applies to me. I'm do hold on to things from the past, sort of enjoying the angry little memory, like a martyr, reminding myself that this thing happened and allow myself to have a small pity party with it.
Learn from it, and then let it go.

3. Fear
Fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends for you.

4. Materialism
Desire to acquire
Wealth can be lost instantly

5. Need for approval: This one gets to me too. And many of us I am sure! I hate when I think someone else is disappointed in me, when I know a choice I am going to make is going to make someone else sad or mad or indifferent. I am often affected by what others might think and have often made choices hoping that they will please the other person, even if it doesnt please me.
We allow expectations of others to control us
Peer pressure - what others might think.

This chapters goes on to list the Benefits of Knowing Your Purpose:

1. Gives meaning to your life
Hope is as essential to your life as air and water.

2. Simplifies Your Life
Without a clear purpose... you will tend to make choices based on circumstances, pressures and your mood at that moment.

3. Focuses Your Life
You...keep changing directions thinking maybe this time will be different.
If you want your life to have impact, focus it! Stop trying to do it all. Do less! Prune away even good activities and do only that which matters most.
You can be busy without purpose, but whats the point.

4. Motivates Your Life
Purpose always produces passion.
Its usually meaningless work, not overwork, that wears us down, saps our strength and robs our joy.
I can attest to this last quote. I dont believe anyone should work in a job that they hate. I do know that there are times that we gotta do what we gotta do to get by, but in the long run, working day in & day out at a job that you dislike, or worse, a totally boring job, is NOT worth it. I have quit jobs in the past because the boredom was eating away at me. I did not want to get out of bed and face one more boring day. But a job you love, or even like, is far more motivating than one you dislike.

5. Prepares You For Eternity
Living to create an earthly legacy is a short-sighted goal
You were put here to prepare for eternity.

So yeah, todays chapter gave me LOTS to ponder as I wonder what truly motivates me and how I can change it to be motivated & driven by Gods purposes & not my own.

Purpose Day 2: You Are Not An Accident

2011-03-10T19:07:00.000-08:00

You are not an accident.
You are alive because God wanted to create you!
God made you so he could love you.

While the theme of this chapter is rather simple, it left me with more questions than answers.

Why does God's love hurt so much sometimes?

I get that God is the creator and doesn't make mistakes, I get that he designed this world for us, a perfect intelligent design with all our specifics in mind, but I constantly struggle with "God is love".

I'm sure everyone struggles or questions God when there are innocents suffering? I understand my own sin & what I do deserve for the choices I have made, the wrongs I have done. God's ultimate display of his love for us was Jesus, pure & perfect, sacrificed for our wrongs. That's HUGE love...

But... what about suffering children, starving people, especially people of faith, families that love & obey & worship God, why is there such extreme pain for some? Loss of a child, a spouse, a life, a dream? If we are alive cuz God wanted to create us, why is there so much hurt & pain for so many of us?

This, I don't understand. I know all things have purpose... I just don't understand them. This always leaves me with a bit of fear, fear that my loving God can still allow hurt for me, and that this hurt was already forethought long before I was born, just like all the blessings, joys & challenges of our lives were. I can only assume, that like a loving father, he is also weeping when we are too.

Purpose Day 1: It All Starts With God

2011-03-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

So today is the first day of Lent and the first day of reading The Purpose Driven Life! Chapter 1 is titled "It All Starts With God".

I've read this chapter a couple times now because in its simplicity, the message within is hurling rocks at my head trying to get me to remember "Its Not About Me".

Some quotes that stood out to me today:

"The search for the purpose of life has puzzled people for thousands of years. That's because we typically begin at the wrong starting point - ourselves. We ask self-centered questions like What do I want to be? What should I do with my life?..."

"You won't discover your life's meaning by looking within yourself."

"You must begin with God"

"...life is about letting God use you for his purposes"

"God is not just the starting point of your life; he is the source of it."

While we sit here on the cusp of making another majour life decision, we keep asking ourselves, What do we want? Where do we want to go? etc. We are so bombarded and overwhelmed with the decisions that WE need to make, and while we beg & plead for God to show us His will, I guess what we have been asking is Please reveal to us what we want so we know its from you. But I'm thinking now that we're asking the wrong questions.

We have wars in Libya in our face all day long, earthquakes here, flooding there and recession everywhere. Its not hard to become caught up in the world's problems and wonder where we fit into it. Where are our reminders that life is about living for God, not ourselves? How can we step back without feeling callous to what's going on in the world to ask God where he will have us fit in to the grand picture?

Its Not About Me... so this is my journey to find out what it is about!

The Purpose Driven Life - for Lent

2011-03-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

I've been longing for something to read during this boring cold winter in northern Alberta. I didn't bring a lot of books with me so sifting thru our meager pickings on the bookshelf I came across The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. This book was a church-small group - Bible Study sensation in 2002 & 2003 where Christians were picking up copies by the dozen, partnering & grouping up with others and spending 40 days going thru the chapters of this book.

I had noticed that I dog-earred the book on chapter 26 and never went much further. If I recall, 2003 was sort of a sucky year in my life so maybe my 'purpose reading' got thwarted with life's overwhelming moment and shelved.

However, with all the choices & thoughts going on in our little world up north here right now, it seemed VERY appropriate that I picked this book up again.

And coincidentally, Lent starts tomorrow. While I know most people give up something for Lent, I've decided it will be much more worth my while to start this new habit and go thru the 40 chapters. Lent itself is actually 46 days I believe but the Sundays are not counted and therefore, it is 40 days long. Exactly the number of chapters in this book.

I did a sneak peak of the first couple chapters already, and it was reminder enough that I NEED to be reading this book right now. Perhaps I will blog about it as I go thru it. If you are out there actually reading this & want to join me, dust off your copy (or find it in a store) and share your thoughts with me as we seek God's Purpose for our lives together.

Old Things

2011-02-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

"old things have passed away; behold all things have become new." 2 Cor. 5:17b

I've often written in the past of my love for old barns & buildings. Rustic, weathered wood, or pitted, grainy stone, these things attract my camera lens over & over again.

This barn near Osoyoos, BC has always been one of my favourites and I have many images of it from every angle, in every season, and every time of day.

When I visited Europe, I was in awe of all the old buildings, cathedrals, castles, and homes there. I could have taken pictures day in & day out and still found more & more to photograph. There is so much beauty in old architecture.

When I see things like old barns being reclaimed by the elements of the earth from decay & neglect it always makes me a little sad. However, I'm not mourning the memory of the building. I have no idea (usually) who lived there or owned that particular building, no particular personal attachment to its history... it just makes me sad to see something I would love to photograph falling into decay so that photo opportunities won't be there anymore. Sounds a little selfish I guess. However, those that know me well know I'm NOT a sentimental person.

Neither am I impressed if something new is built in its place. Not that I'm against progress or "moving ahead", because I'm all for that, but if it isn't replaced with something of equal beauty, it makes me sad too.

All this to say I've been thinking about souls. I know a lot of people with beautiful souls, people who do not know the Lord. I can only imagine that if they do come to Christ, their soul would only get more beautiful! I also know many Christians with ugly souls. And I wonder what happened when their "old soul" passed away? Was their soul always this ugly? Did their "new soul" become beautiful upon its recreation but the decay & neglect of time turn it ugly, broken down and ruined so that nobody could care to see it or bother trying to save it?

And I wonder what my own soul looks like, to others and to Christ? Is it a thing of beauty, or was it replaced with something that started off somewhat nice but decayed to ruin beyond help? Or is it like the old barns & buildings... once a thing of beauty, facing a lot of hardships & decay but still a thing of beauty in the eyes of our Beholder? I know its not shiny & new anymore, it probably has a lot of weathered dents & dings of years gone by, but I hope that it is still something of beauty, despite the passage of time.

Praise The Lord

2011-01-25T10:24:00.000-08:00

Praise the Lord, oh my soul, praise the Lord

This small chorus has filled my heart to overflowing today. I'm not sure why but I'm singing it over & over. Perhaps its just something the Lord needs to hear from me, or perhaps its something I need to hear. Either way, I'm uplifted & full of praise today!

Winter Blues

2011-01-19T08:16:00.000-08:00

"Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God." Psalm 42:11

It is no secret that I dislike January. Every year I feel restless & start to question everything. I get cabin-fever, Vitamin D deficient missing the sunshine, discontent longing for spring and just generally BLUE.

Yesterday was no exception. I feel like I woke on the wrong side of the bed and could not find a way to make the day better. I was an impatient parent, a grumpy wife and stayed sour within my head all day long. I felt cooped up, sad, lonely, bored, miserable. I'm longing for Spring in the south and dreading the long cold winter of the north.

I know I get this way every January. Its when we think we need to make new life plans, or start talking about travelling to some place warm. We spend a lot of time evaluating things, wondering why we are where we are in all aspects of life.

I woke this morning praying that today would be a better day. I'm not feeling it yet. I'm playing worship music over & over in hopes to inspire an attitude change. I'm paging through the Psalms, hoping to read that one verse that will transform my heart. There are many uplifting verses in Psalms, I see them, I read them... but today I do not feel them. I continue to read, to pray, to meditate... I know that He is right beside me, despite my mood, probably with His arms around me speaking comfort into my deaf ears.

Open my ears, Lord, that I may receive your comfort. Change my heart that I may receive Your joy and peace.

It's -30C and sunny out...

2011-01-13T09:48:00.000-08:00

"Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me, when the world's all as it should be, Blessed be Your name."

Its cold! Very cold here in northern Alberta! While our family to the south is getting dumped on by snow, we're getting hammered with cold temps! I'm quite wimpy when it comes to the cold so needless to say, I don't go out much in it and the extra cold of the north makes me more of a hermit. It makes me a bit homesick for southern BC and its mild temperatures.

But a day like today, despite the cold, still uplifts my heart. Though you can't really see it in the photo, EVERYTHING is sparkling in the northern sunshine today. The whole world around us is bright, brilliant, beautiful and I'm feeling blessed!

The sun brings life, vitality, growth, renewal...and that's how its making me feel today! Thank you Lord for the sunshine on this icy cold day!

Can You Hear Me, God?

2011-01-07T10:17:00.002-08:00

It is no secret that I've been waiting & desiring to hear the Lord's voice. I feel like I've had a lot of questions for Him this past year and that I've been desiring to hear His direction. I often hear other people say that God spoke to them, or that they knew it was from God that they were going to do something, say something, etc. How I desire this!

I know God speaks to us in many many ways, sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly. Through people, through dreams, through Scripture, through songs, through our thoughts. Why do I feel so tone deaf to hearing it? I know God isn't the problem... I'm certain He's tried to reach me many of these ways but I feel like my ears are shut and I can't recognize the word of the Lord. Its making me sad, no sorrowful, because the longing only grows.

So, I just happened to notice this book on our bookshelf yesterday. We're having a tough time up here in northern Alberta and compound that with the fact that its January and we're smack dab in the middle of the Winter Blahs! And I'm back to earnestly desiring God's voice. So what choice did I have but to pick this book up. Perhaps this is one of His ways of communicating with me, saying READ THIS BOOK! I'm talking to you right now! Open your ears!

The first chapter I read lastnight is called "My Sheep Hear My Voice" and parallels Jesus as our Good Shepherd and He knows us and we know Him by His voice. It gave all these examples of how God may have communicated to us in the past and how He is trying to reach us now.

I'm starting to realize the problem with my God-deafness. I'm only waiting for the answer to my questions, meanwhile, I'm missing out on the rest of the conversation. God has been telling me lots of things, wanting me to listen to all the other things He needs for me to hear, but I have shut them out, waiting to hear the answer to just one question.

It showed me the example of how I tend to pray, like I'm leaving a message to God on His answering machine and waiting for Him to call me back with His answer, hanging up before He gets a word in edgewise... never pausing to listen if He has anything else to talk to me about.

I'm missing on the best part, the friendship, the communion, the relationship and treating God like a 'question and answer' survey that I've put in the mail & am eagerly awaiting its response.

So I asked God to show me something in the Bible that I needed to see. I always struggle about where to start reading so I just picked one of my sticky tags & pulled it open. It fell open to the last chapter of Hebrews and the first chapter of James. I wasn't sure which was supposed to be for me so I read them both, paying attention to verses I've underlined in the past.

But it was the verse that wasn't underlined that is jumping out at me. "But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased." Heb 13:16. Now, I'm not exactly sure why this verse is relevant to me today. I feel like we barely have enough to get by let alone excess to share right now, but yet, its still sticking out at me. I can still "do good" and perhaps there is something that I have need to share that will be a sacrifice. Anyways, I'm not sure why but I'm holding on to this verse for now as an indication that it may be something God wanted me to know.

I also asked God to bring someone to mind who might need prayers or blessings and immediately a good friend's face came to my thoughts. I don't know what her needs may be for today but I will believe that this is a thought from God that I need to pray for her.

Wow, that really wasn't so hard to hear the voice of God afterall. While He may not be answering this huge question on my mind, I asked Him a few simple questions and had the answers in front of me. So I'm going to keep reading this book and try to keep the communication lines OPEN, not hanging up before He has a chance to tell me what I need to hear (not just what I WANT to hear).

Fishing Takes Faith

2011-01-04T10:20:00.000-08:00

"My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him." Psalm 62:5

It takes a lot of faith to go fishing! You stand on a shore or in a boat, put out your line & wait. If you didn't think you might get a bite or catch a fish then it would be pretty pointless to stand there. You believe you're going to catch something. Some days you come home with a great haul, other days you're skunked without even a nibble.

Faith feels like that to me sometimes. If I didn't believe God was going to respond to my prayers, then I would be praying in vain. Sometimes I pray for a big answer, other times I just want a nibble. God can come thru in big obvious ways, like the fish in your hand. Other days, I feel skunked, like He isn't listening at all, I'm empty handed.

That's when I wait, and wait. I do believe He is there, and that He will answer, but I don't always know when. And, sometimes, I just get tired of asking, tired of praying, ready to walk away as my patience wears thin. Sometimes its hard to find the faith that He's going to answer, or that He's even listening.

Lots of people walk away from a good fishing spot, tired of waiting, finally believing that there just must not be any fish there. Maybe they've fished there multiple times and left empty so now they're believing maybe there are no fish in the whole river and they give up fishing for good.

I don't want my faith to get to that point, where I give up on it for good. I will hold to the hope that God is there and I will continue to seek Him, even when it feels like He is silent.

Happy New Year 2011

2011-01-01T12:54:00.001-08:00

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

It is a new year and its time for a change here. I have been away from blogging for over 5 months. In that time we've left the relative comfort but discontentment of our life in Osoyoos and moved 100s of miles north to La Crete, Alberta to be with my husband's side of the family.

Many things have changed for us in the last few month and we've faced many challenges and experiences both good and bad. While we are feeling somewhat settled into life in ths northern town, its becoming obvious that our hearts are still not settled.

I've spent the last 5 months dealing with God in many different ways. Anger, ignorance, fear, pleading, blame, love, thankfulness, and wonder. I don't know which emotion was the biggest for the final half of 2010 but its my aim to start 2011 differently.

Not only are we going to try and live a healthier more natural lifestyle in 2011 *hint: new blog coming* but I feel its really time to focus on getting our souls healthy too, finding our way back to that loving God, Abba God, Prince of Peace, not anger, oppression or discontent, the God who is our refuge, our Strength and our Shield, and actually trusting that HE IS these things because we've spent too long feeling the opposite.

My prayer for the new year is not only to hear His voice, as is always our desire, but to feel His LOVE, to feel His Peace, to see His Beauty, to know His Forgiveness, to trust He will Provide and Sustain us, calm the Anger & Bitterness that can take hold, to accept His Grace and Mercy, and to remember all the things we are Thankful for, that we are Blessed with and have 2011 be the year of Joy, Hope, Peace & Love. I know those 4 words are cliche, especially in this season of the year, but it is my desire for them to reign all year long.

So, here I am, January 1st. Lord, Create in me a new heart & renew my spirit!

Busy Packing

2010-07-29T12:00:00.001-07:00

Blogging is on hold for a bit... big changes coming up for us and I'm busy packing. Be back soon!

Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

Exploring

2010-07-16T10:03:00.063-07:00

We took a spur of the moment drive up to a mountain lake last evening. It was such a beautiful day and we wanted to do a little exploring. We had only planned to go for a quick drive so I didn't take my camera, but thankfully, I had my iPhone in my pocket so I was able to capture some shots from this lovely lil adventure. For anyone that is interested, I believe this is Blue Lake in the Kilpoola area, above Osoyoos.

This lake is more of a bog in my opinion. It smelled rather funky, lots of bugs and the shoreline was really squishy. It was like walking on a sponge. I think its a protected grassland type area. Lots of grasses & stuff to walk thru before you could even get to the shore.

Unfortunately, it wasn't all that easy to get around in flipflops. *duh* Not exactly a 'bare toes friendly' area but I tip toed thru nonetheless.

And speaking of the shore, as I got closer, it got a bit 'other worldly' looking on the ground...

Freakishly weird looking, the iPhone pix really couldn't do it justice but if you click ON the picture you can see it bigger (hmm, this only works on some of them... trying to edit on my phone & its being weird, sorry). I was fascinated by all these little sticky-uppy mud spires. I think they are all mud remnants of where a grass or reed used to be. Because to step on one it was sort of firmer on the inside than just the spongey mud around it.

Here's another view of it more level with the lake. It was just so strange looking.

Anyways, you can see how as it goes back to firmer ground that the little spires become reeds & grasses & other plants.

We walked around the lake a bit because there were some big ol cows grazing and the tiny one wanted to go see them. They weren't too interested in us though and took off when we got closer, much to his disappointment.

All in all, it was a great spur of the moment place to explore, a beautiful sunshiney evening and now, a place we will return, both with a real camera & proper footware.

Summer Mornings

2010-07-10T08:59:00.001-07:00

This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

I'm just sitting outside in the shady part of the yard this morning, enjoying the day while my son plays before it gets too hot to be outside.

There isn't a cloud in the sky, the birds are singing, the rosebush is in full blossom and I am at peace.

I know it's going to be a busy and HOT day but I still find myself meditative for these few moments, thankful for this beautiful day and for the beauties surrounding me.

While I still sit in God's Waiting Room, I can at least be content that I'm blessed while I wait and I'm somewhere beautiful.

- Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

Chaos

2010-07-08T10:39:00.002-07:00

Chaos! It's the only word I can think of to describe my mind right now. I have so many thoughts, ideas, questions and plans competing to be the forefront of my brain that I can't focus on any of them.

I have so many things that I want to do vs need to be done that I can't choose where to start and none of them are getting done. I need to get some invoicing done, but to do that I have to tidy the office. So I put away some papers and the coffee mugs and start the dishwasher. Then I throw a load of towels in the laundry and hang the clean ones outside to dry. I clean up toys outside on the grass and maybe fill up the tiny pool. I go back in and remember that I wanted to do invoicing but then it's time to start lunch...

Lunch makes me sit at the table where my laptop sits and I peruse writing and photograph sites, wishing I had more time for taking pix and writing articles.

I then peruse the outdoor adventure magazine that I wish I had time to write an article for, and then think longingly about camping, hiking or getting my kayak out on the water. But with an active toddler those things are on the backburner today.

Which then leads my thoughts to having baby #2 and wondering if or when God might grant us that blessing (as I've been having trouble staying pregnant) Then my thoughts lead to adoption and my heart for an African child, wondering if that could be Gods will for us. Thinking of Africa then moves my thoughts to missions and wondering if that might be our calling one day and perhaps that's why our house hasn't sold yet.

And so the swirling circle in my mind carries on... and I still haven't got any invoicing done!

Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

Waiting

2010-07-06T15:59:00.001-07:00

I wanted to be making strawberry freezer jam this afternoon. It's the perfect day for it. L brought home a big flat of strawberries lastnight. I've cleaned some jars and picked up some sugar and pectin and now the little boy is napping. Perfect timing.

But instead I'm laying here in bed in the dark waiting for a migraine to go away... Hmph!

Not fair! Not fair! I was on a roll. But I guess I needed this forced Time Out to take a rest. I already had a small snooze and thought I was feeling better til I sat up to get out of bed again. No, it's not time yet.

So I'm laying here thinking about Noah for some reason. We watched Evan Almighty again the other night (if you haven't seen it before, do so! It's a great family show) After we watched it we got talking about what it might look like if God asked us to do something big like that too! Would we be capable? Would we even believe it to be possible, that He even asks us stuff like that anymore?

We've been asking God to speak to us a lot in this last year, asking Him for obvious direction on what our next steps should be. He seems silent, although I know He's there. We just aren't sure how to interpret the silence.

What do you do when you feel God is being quiet?

For now, we can only assume that He wants us to continue to wait. And as hard as it is to wait, we don't really have another choice. We hope that He will not have us wait too much longer.

And so, what has this got to do with jam? Well, again I'm waiting, whether I like it or not. On a forced break and instead of laying here doing nothing, I know I can at least make use of the situation and blog. :). So maybe, instead of whining about God making us wait on the bigger questions we have, I can find a way to make use of my time while I wait.

Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-06-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God." ~Psalm 42:2

What About Sundays?

2010-06-22T11:07:00.002-07:00

Thou shalt be in church on Sunday morning...

Oh wait, where is that found in the Bible? Um, nowhere. But it does say they should be a day of rest, a day to be kept HOLY.

So, Sunday's have been a bit of a difficult day for us over the past year. Our family dynamic has drastically changed as our son grows from 'portable infant' to 'rambunctious toddler' and so we haven't been out to many public places during certain hours of the day. Church being one of them.

It wasn't as difficult, up until about a year ago, when he started getting mobile. Until then, we were more the 'sit at the back & hope he doesn't make too much noise' church goers. But once he was on the move, it got more & more difficult to be there. The church didn't have a nursery or a place we could take him, or lay him down or any of that stuff. So, it was awkward & frustrating for one or both of us to keep him entertained or quiet or away from dangerous or dirty stuff. It just didn't seem worth the effort or the feelings of stress it caused me while I was sitting there. Church shouldn't be stressful, so I wasn't getting much out of it anyways.

Then, his nap scheduled changed, and for the last 10 or so months, he's been having a nap between the morning hours of 9am and 11:30am. Its a good schedule for us, the rest of the week, but it makes trying to go to church pretty much impossible.

And we've tried. Despite him being extra cranky for us denying him his morning nap, we've tried. We've sought out a few other churches that claim to offer nursery care, but in a town that caters to its retired community, the nursery care options were seemingly non-existant, so we've spent a few church services with one of us entertaining him out in the foyer, among glares from seniors who are looking at these noisy young visitors with disdain. Oh yeah, like we really felt welcome & eager to try those churches again.

sigh

So, we have sort of given up for the present, knowing that eventually he will outgrow this morning nap. (although I'm certainly not in a rush for it) and that we can one day again get out to a church service on a Sunday morning.

But its annoys me some Sundays too. Like why do we sit here feeling guilty because our butts aren't planted in a pew on Sunday mornings? While there are many references to the first day of the week, gathering together with believers & keeping the day holy (and not working) why do we have to feel guilty when we aren't there. We want to be there, we want to spend time with other believers, but why does it ONLY have to be on Sundays to have that expected fellowship?

Don't get me wrong, I know that many of you have church groups, prayer meetings, Bible studies, and get togethers on other days or even NIGHTS of the week, but there is still always the guilt of not being there on the Sunday morning, like that particular morning is the be all to end all of being a Christian.

I read my Bible nearly daily, I pray, I sing, I worship, I listen to sermons & inspirational preachers, and I don't limit that to Sundays. But I still have a bit of an empty guilt-ridden feeling that we aren't somewhere in a church on a Sunday morning.

I saw this saying on Facebook:

"Sitting in a church makes you no more a Christian than sitting in a garage makes you a car."

Funny, true, sad also. Because that's how we judge. I was one of them too. How can you be a Christian, you never come to church on Sunday? Now I'm feeling the other end of that & it sucks! And its sadly alienating too. Like after a few Sundays of not showing up, you kind of get written off, and then there is even less chances of fellowship, growth or understanding and its like a downward spiral, like its assumed you've given up on God or something. No, we haven't given up on God, and He certainly hasn't given up on us. We've just temporarily had to take a break from the attendance of a church building on a Sunday morning.

We hope to have it again in our future. We hope to not have to feel guilty about it because we aren't there in the present. We hope for understanding, and we hope to BE more understanding when someone else faces the same challenges that we are.

Balance

2010-06-10T23:16:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks I've been trying to find my creative side again. My son is getting more independant, has a somewhat predictable nap schedule, and I have a bit more time to be at the computer, igniting my creative writing juices again. But where are they?

I've often heard it said that your mind goes to mush during pregnancy (oh yes, it did!) but I was hoping that somewhere after the first year, the cogs n wheels would start turning again and I could rekindle the love of photography, adventure & writing.

I realize lots & lots of women jump right back into the workforce, whatever their job may be, with no problems and life goes on. Maybe its because I'm here at home, that I'm unmotivated. The Fisher Price farm set is too tempting to play with. Reading "Hippos Go Berserk" over & over doesn't bother me. Not that there is any other place I'd rather be, than home with my son. I do love being a stay-at-home-mom but there are parts of my day, when he is occupied, where I'd like to switch over to WORK-at-home-mom and see if I can get back into doing the things I was developing a couple years ago.

I know work & motherhood is about compromise & balance, hoping that we are balancing the important things in the right way. Same goes with all passions & hobbies & things that get balanced when we become parents. Lawrence & I had lots of spontaneous & fun adventures before, we know we will have many more in the future too. Now we are formulating NEW ways to have adventure & spontaneity that involve our son, and that challenge is JUST as rewarding and fun.

Yes, it might be a while before we go rock climbing with him, or shuffle along the cliffs in the Cascades, or take my kayak out... but the pause in these former hobbies is well worth it. To see him hold a crab in his tiny hand at the edge of the Pacific Ocean, to finally find a frog in our woodpile after hearing it for weeks and saying "Here Frog", to hold a young robin in hand while he softly touches it and says "nice". These are new and amazing adventures for us as parents while we see the world thru fresh eyes. Its beautiful, its fun, its a privelege.

So, if my creative juices are too busy being in awe of these day to day moments, I think its still ok. These are moments I wouldn't want to miss, if my brain was knee-deep in an article or photo editing. (hmm, can a brain be knee-deep?) And they give me new things to write about & photograph, all wrapped up within mini adventures of life with a toddler.

To Give You A Future and A Hope

2010-05-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hop. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you." ~ Jeremiah 29:11-14

Its a dull cloudy breezey morning here. The sort of morning where I want to stay curled up, coffee in hand & blanket around me. Quietness & thoughtfulness filling the space in my head. Of course, with a busy toddler, quietness usually goes out the window, as well as sitting still. But now, as he naps, I have that quiet peace, that time of thoughtfulness and its my time with God.

I've sure been asking God a LOT of questions lately. And listening for His voice. I know He's speaking, but I can't hear it. I seek His directions, His answers, His peace... but it feels so far away. We seem to be going through a lot of valleys lately, and I feel like we're down here alone. In my heart, I know we're not, but its so quiet, not the kind of quiet I want.

I've asked God to SHOUT at us, if we aren't hearing His quiet voice. I've asked God to speak to us, even give us hints at his direction and I keep coming back without any answers, any hints.

I guess that could mean his answer is "just sit tight" for now, on all the issues we're questioning him about, but it feels tough living in limbo. Its hard not to want to take charge, and we've tried that, time & time again, but yet, we're still here, still waiting for Him to show us the way. Waiting on WHERE. Waiting on WHY. Waiting on WHEN. and so much more.

Some days it feels like the valley is just getting deeper, and the blue sky up above is turning cloudy. We know there is sunshine up above those clouds, somewhere higher up on the hill, and we're longing for Him to lift us up onto the higher rocks & ridges, and just give us a glimpse of what He has in store for us, an idea that we might be going in the right direction, and not just circling the bottom.

I know His plans are better than whatever it is we think we're waiting on... and I know there is much joy, happiness & peace in the moments of each day, in the smiling face of a bouncy toddler, in the calm peaceful breeze of a cloudy morning such as today.

So I wait. I pray! I try to keep having faith that He is planning to give us a future and a hope.

Bang A Drum

2010-05-18T16:39:00.000-07:00

Oh how life changes in a short time. I think I've mentioned before but when I first started blogging, long before kids were in the picture, I couldn't believe at how many stay at home moms blogged about their kids & their every day lives. I thought (back then) that those blogs were so boring.

Well look at me now.

I don't have time for much else other than our "mundane everyday life" and I'm loving every minute of it. It amazes me how much I've changed.

Pictured above is of course my little munchkin, who just got into my cupboards to pull out his "drums" AKA the pots & a wooden spoon. At least once a day he'll pull out some sort of pot. The utensil drawer is safe also for him to play in (no knives or pokey things in there) so he pulls out ladels & spoons and basters and spreads them all over the house. I found 3 wooden spoons in the toy box the other day when I couldn't find any in the drawer. Such is life :)

While his pot banging is usually too loud for my tired ears, I know it will only last minutes before he moves on to something else so I try to tolerate those few moments of his pleasure and just let him be.

And while the song has nothing to do with our everyday lives, I always think of it when drums are being banged around here and I've always liked the lyrics, sung by Bon Jovi so I thought I'd post it here today.

Bang A Drum

I went to see the preacher to teach me how to pray

He looked at me and smiled

Then that preacher turned away

He said if you want to tell him something

You ain't gotta fold your hands

Say it with your heart, your soul and believe it

And I'd say amen

Bang a drum for the sinners

Bang a drum for the sins

Bang a drum for the losers

And those who win

Bang a drum, bang it loudly

Or as soft as you need

Bang a drum for yourself son

And a drum for me

Ooh, let me hear you say yeah (yeah), hallelujah, amen

I called upon my brother just the other day

He said: John I'm gonna die if I don't start to live again

I work each day and night like clockwork

Just trying to make ends meet

I could kick this bad world's ass

If I could just get on my feet

I'd bang a drum for the dying

Bang a drum for the truth

Bang a drum for the innocence lost in our youth

Bang a drum, bang it loudly

Or as soft as you need

Bang a drum for you brother

And a drum for me

I don't know where all the rivers run

I don't know how far, I don't know how come

Well I'm gonna die believin' each step that I take

Ain't worth the ground that I walk on

If we don't walk it our way

No I don't claim to be a wiseman, a poet or a saint

I'm just another man who's searching for a better way

But my heart beats loud as thunder

For the things that I believe

Sometimes I wanna run for cover

Sometimes I want to scream

Bang a drum for tomorrow

Bang a drum for the past

Bang a drum for the heroes that won't come back

Bang a drum for the promise

Bang a drum for the lies

Bang a drum for the lovers and the tears they've cried

Bang a drum, bang it loudly

Or as soft as you need

But as long as my heart keeps on bangin'

I got a reason to believe (I got a reason to believe)

Happy Friday!

2010-03-26T09:12:00.000-07:00

Red plaid & butt crack - my little redneck!

Test All Things

2010-03-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

"Test all things; hold fast what is good." ~ 2 Thessalonians 5:21

I drove up the mountain this week to see the town from above and catch a glimpse of my favourite mountain peaks. I didn't have to go too far before the small patches of snow were showing up in the shady spots. But in the sunny spots there were plenty of yellowy buttercups blossoming everywhere reminding me that Spring is near in the mountains too. The rocky peaks in the distance may hold their snow caps all year long. And down below in the valley, the first of the blossoms are appearing in the orchards. I truly love this time of year.

A lot of things have changed for us since this time last year. We've had a lot of questions and seen various doors open and shut on our lives. While we lamented many of those closed doors at the moments they shut, we can look back now on some of them and see God's purpose for them and see how He has pointed us to good things because if it.

It's hard to know what is good for us in those difficult moments some times. Or when things appear good and they really aren't. We are told to test all things, to know if they are of God. 1 John 4 tells us how to test spirits to know if they are of God. And to hold on to those that are good. Philippians 4:8 also tells us to meditate on the good things of God.

I think the more we learn to discern these things the more obvious it will become and the easier it will be to recognize. While we know that Satan is the ultimate deceiver, the more we learn to recognize his evil works the more our eyes and hearts will be opened to the things that are good, therefore helping us see God's plans when we think things may not be going our way.

Myself, I'm still struggling with giving God the driver's seat because I think I know what is good for me. I have much growing to do so I can learn to test things better and then know that my "good ideas" aren't always of God and with some more faith and better discernment I might be able to see Gods plans are working far better than my own for the good things that I should be holding on to instead.

More faith Lord, grant me more faith!

- Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

Bees, Birds, Breeze and Buds

2010-03-15T15:01:00.001-07:00

At this very moment God is blessing me!

I'm sitting outside on my patio and it's a lovely warm Spring afternoon. The sun is shining. It's perfect.

The first thing I noticed was the steady hum of BEES. They are busy working their magic in the branches of our elms. (the picture above). If I look really carefully I can see their tiny little bodies hovering but I don't need to see to know they are there because the sound of them is spectacular.

Then I noticed the sound of BIRDS. Near and far the neighborhood is teeming with them. I don't recognize all their sounds but the robin is out there and a noisy crow is also nearby. And several smaller sparrow types have flown by twittering away.

In the midst of all the sounds I also feel a gentle BREEZE. Not a cold breeze that is typical fir March but one that is warm and welcoming. Not too strong bit just enough to make my laundry sway ever so slightly on the clothesline.

And lastly I look around the yard. At the shrubs and trees and see all their BUDS. The rosebush is starting to get green. The elms and maples are reaching up to the sun with buds covering their limbs. The lilac bushes, the cherry tree and the walnut tree; they all know that it's time to wake up and unfold their beauty.

Yes beauty. Just here in my humble backyard and God is lavishing it on me with love and joy.

Bees, birds, breeze and buds are blessing me with their bountiful beauty in my backyard! :)

Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

Lead Me By Still Waters

2010-03-09T09:22:00.001-08:00

"He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul." ~ Psalm 23:2-3

We've had some beautiful warm, sunny and calm days already this month. Walking by the lake was breathtaking! Not a ripple but still waters with a perfect reflection.

Then there was yesterday. Cold wind shaking the trees and biting our fingertips. As the day went on my mind and soul started to reflect the weather. Small irritations like sand started eating away at me. Disappointments moved in and threatened my calm soul til I could feel the frown on my forehead and noticed that even the little things were annoying me.

I wanted that calmness back. I wanted those still waters and restoration.

Today I wake and the sun is shining and the air is still. I want to breathe deeply and be thankful for the peace. But why am I afraid that it's a calm before the storm? The wind is still blowing in my soul and mind this morning. I'm praying for some restoration and rest, something else to focus on other than those small irritations.

How do find ways to put your mind and soul at rest?

Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

Captivating

2010-03-02T09:49:00.000-08:00

Captivating - Unveiling the Mystery of A Woman's Soul - John and Stasi Eldredge

"We think you'll find that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That's what makes a woman come alive." ~ quote from Captivating

I'm sitting a bit beside myself this morning reading through this book that I borrowed from my sister-in law. My husband has read the 'man' version of this book by John Eldredge "Wild At Heart" and so when I saw that my sis had the 'woman' version, written together by John and Stasi I asked to borrow it.

The reason I am so amused this morning is that just over the weekend, I changed my blog header to the three things that I seek to love in life "Adventure, Beauty, and God" and here it is, the essence of this book is what they say is at the essence of every woman's heart!

I'm glad that I can be confident that my desires are at the heart of women everywhere.

As the book describes, we women are constantly battling against guilt! Guilt to do more, be more, clean more, cook more, volunteer more, host more, help more. More, more, more! Of being 'not enough' and 'too much' at the same time.

"Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone."

Now I'm just starting to read this book but I can see already that I could quote every other line as being truthful & inspiring.

So, my woman friends that actually read this blog, I encourage you to peek into your church library or your public library and pick up this book & read it along with me. And if you already have read this, share with me what you thought.

Spring

2010-02-27T14:29:00.001-08:00

They're here!!! I knew it would be soon with this fantastic weather we've been having and so I've been checking. Today, a beautiful crocus unfolded in the sunshine!!

"For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singin has come." ~ Song of Solomon 2:11-12

- Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

Change

2010-02-26T21:22:00.000-08:00

Just fiddling with my blog look & layout tonight if anyone happens to stop by & wonders why it looks different. I've had it the same for 3 1/2 years. Time for a change.

Unfortunately, I've got NO photo/image editing software these days. Photoshop died along with my laptop & this one has me trying to use the frustratingly limited options in 'Paint'. *grumble*

I'll get it worked out soon!

:)

Grumpy

2010-02-23T10:39:00.002-08:00

I'm grumpy today. I'm trying my best to 'shake it off' but its still lingering. I guess I just got up on the wrong side of the bed today. Coffee hasn't cured it. Breakfast didn't help. A long hot shower was nice but here I sit, grumpy.

I haven't got anything to complain or grumble about. Its a beautiful sunny crisp morning. My son is napping. My dishes are already done. So why the scowl on my face? I don't even know if I want to be fully ungrumped. It feels good sitting here feeling grumpy. Isn't that a foolish thing? To ENJOY being grumpy? DO you ever feel like that?

There is so much joy to be had and I know it would feel BETTER to be joyful than content in my grumpiness so I'm going to find some. I'm paging thru the Psalms & Proverbs, trying to lighten my heart & soul.

I read "Make a JOYFUL shout to the Lord" in Psalm 100:1.

"my heart is GLAD, and my glory rejoices" in Psalm 16:9

"This is the day which the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be GLAD in it." Psalm 118:24

"May my meditation be sweet to Him; I will be GLAD in the Lord." Psalm 105:34

"A merry heart makes a CHEERFUL countenance." Prov 15:13

What Can I Do Lord?

2010-02-19T10:50:00.003-08:00

I love being a 'stay at home mom'. There is fun & joy & creativity & laughter in so many minutes of the day!

But in the quiet moments where I have a few minutes to be alone with my thoughts, I feel lost. Like I want to be doing something, something good, something helpful, something for others, something for God!

In between the giggles & the diaper changes, the laundry & the dishes, the bookkeeping and the meal cooking, I'm amazed that there is some time left for me to even wonder this. But here I sit, my Bible open before me, time on my hand and wondering where I can fit in this world to do something good with the few minutes I have.

Oh sure, there is always another load of laundry I could do, invoices to be entered or just extra time for quiet meditation, but I think I'm longing for a new purpose.

Sometimes I think it could just be loneliness in these quiet moments. Husband is at work, baby is sleeping & friends are unavailable. Yes, I definitely get lonely but I don't think having a coffee visit with a friend would fill this need. (although I'd certainly take those opportunities as well)

I have a need to be creative, a need to be useful. I'm sure we all do. But there's more to it. How can I be creatively useful to God? How can I help others in need from here at my kitchen table?

Here I am, Lord! Use me!

The Rock

2010-02-11T09:46:00.002-08:00

"When my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I am." ~Psalm 61:2

This is one of my favourite verses. I blogged with this verse & photo when I first started blogging. You can re-read that entry here.

My heart is feeling a little overwhelmed & heavy today. All is well in our world but there is so much going on in the world that the sadness feels like it is bogging me down today and so I am pouring through the book of Psalms trying to find my favourite uplifting verses.

I like thinking of God as our Solid Rock & uplifter! It has been a few years since I've been rock climbing or mountain climbing but the analogies are still fresh in my mind when I read these verses just as if I was clinging to the edge of the cliff at that moment!

I know life lately has felt like we were just clinging to the edge, unsure of whether we should go up or down, waiting on God's direction, and really wanting to just let go and praying He'll catch us before we hit 'rock bottom'.

Other times it feels like we really are at the bottom & its a mess down there. Gooey sinful, sorrowful mess and we feel trapped, reaching up, wanting to see the sun again. Luckily we have help from The Son.

"For in the time of trouble... He shall set me high upon a rock, and now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me." ~Psalm 27:5-6

"He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps." ~Psalm 40:2

Despite our small faith, God is faithful!

What's your favourite ROCK verse?

Clean Up

2010-02-09T11:08:00.010-08:00

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." ~ Psalm 51:10

Housework! It never really ends does it! You sweep, you vacuum, you wash floors, you wash dishes, wash the laundry, dry the laundry, fold the laundry, put away the laundry. And then, lo & behold, you have to do it all over again. I'm not complaining, just stating a fact. There is always housework to do!

Today I decided to wash my floors. Usually I use a microfibre mop head that I can throw in the wash when I'm done. But I wanted to mop quietly (no rinsing & repeating in the sink) so I decided to use a few of my disposable wet Swiffer cloths. Quick & convenient and throw them away when I'm done.

However... I HATE the smell of these! They are scented with Febreeze. Oh how I hate the smell of anything Febreezey. I have the exhaust fan running as I type this trying to suck the stink out of the house.

I have a bad 'Febreeze Memory' you see. Once, years ago, I had a rented suite in this gorgeous heritage house. Well, with old houses (and new) you can't always prevent a few critters from getting in. We knew there were mice rumored to be in the house but we tried to make sure there was nothing in their capabilities to get into. Alas, we still found them turning up. But one day, we smelled something awful... something DEAD and it was coming from the icky old stove. Nasty... I cook food on that thing.

We had to take it apart and could tell that they had spent some time hanging out in the insulation in the back. Yuck... but where was the smell coming from? Took the back cover off and found not one, but two dead stinky mice behind the electrical bits. Guess they got zapped when nibbling an electrical wire or something. GROSS!!

So, we cleaned it up the best we could, bought some Febreeze and sprayed the entire house. And then left all the windows open & went out so it could 'de-stink' while we were gone. But Febreeze mixed with dead mouse smell will forever be impressed on my memory banks and every time I think of or smell Febreeze I think of dead mouse smell. No, I won't be using those Febreeze smelling Swiffer mops any time soon. They do the job of course, but the smell & the memories it brings up is not pleasant.

All this to say that cleaning with Febreeze can compare to the necessary cleaning of our souls & hearts. Our hearts & souls can easily get blackened with sin & complacencies of every day lives & our habits. As with household chores, often it can be a lot easier to make the mess & ignore it than roll up your sleeves and clean it up. Likewise with sin.

Sometimes there is an easy pleasant way to clean things up & get back on track with God. A prayer to ask for forgiveness, a new outlook, a conviction to renew your 'steadfast spirit'. But other times its not that easy or pleasant. Perhaps in the process of cleaning up your heart you might happen to dredge up painful memories, or you have your sin piling up like laundry in front of you, unveiling the 'stink' that is truly is. It may be hard to let go, unpleasant to admit. And we may wish that we could just do it simply, a quick prayer & voila, I'm all cleaned up. But it really isn't that simple sometimes. You might have to push through the painful memories, the present 'stink' of your sin in order to be truly clean.

Laundry doesn't fold itself. Floors don't shine without a little help. Don't think you need to do it on your own either. There is good news! God will help you. If you want to change, renew, be cleaned, He is there to wash you off & put you back on your feet, if only you'll ask Him & be willing to let Him, even when its tough.

"Wash me and I shall be whiter than snow." ~Psalm 51:7

Well Done, Good & Faithful Servant

2010-02-05T10:52:00.006-08:00

"Well done, good & faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord." ~Matthew 25:23

Reading the book of Matthew this week. I like to read a gospel, or all the gospels from time to time, mostly just to refresh myself. But this particular passage stood out to me. Sort of convicting like.

You see, I have a lot of passions, things I get excited about & want to talk about to anyone who will hear, even strangers. Ask me about my son, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, outdoor photography, Africa, Italy, hiking, etc etc and I can probably passionately talk your ear off on all of those subjects. But ask me about Jesus, ask me what the gospel is, ask me to talk to people I barely know about salvation and I'll probably be standing there speechless, unsure of what to say or where to begin... cricket noises echoing in the silence.

I'm definitely falling short of the 'good & faithful servant'. I'm not multiplying the return of the free gift the Lord has given to me. I'm shy to talk about it and probably quiet when asked about it.

I often get questioned, even mocked, for things like cloth diapering and yet I stand my ground & hold my head high knowing that I'm doing what's better for my son, better for our wallets and better for the environment. And I have several good pieces of information to the doubters of why they too should use cloth diapers.

Where is my courage, my defense, my quick answers for things of the Lord?

Yes, I'm indeed feeling conviction after reading this & am trying to remind myself how much MORE important it is to share the message of salvation than ALL other things I might be passionate about. Time to rekindle that passion for Jesus so I too can one day hear "Well done, good & faithful servant."

Helping Hand

2010-01-31T10:30:00.004-08:00

"Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great." Psalm 35:18

A grandpa and his grandson. Gentleness and a helping hand!

Unclean Spirits

2010-01-30T09:53:00.001-08:00

I'm pondering Matthew 12:43-45 this morning. It's about unclean spirits leaving and then returning to someone with more spirits making him worse than he was before.

And I'm imagining how this might be relevant today. I'm thinking of bad habits or addictions. Drugs, gambling, shopping, eating for examples. One manages to give up the addiction, maybe "find Jesus" in the process or even just renew their faith and find strength thru their faith and feel confident that they are over this addiction.

Eventually that demon of addiction comes back, sees you all cleaned up and realizes that addiction alone won't be enough this time.

So he's goes out and gets the demon of self doubt, the demon of temptation, the demon of complacency and they tag team together at once.

Confidence falls first and then with the temptation in front of you it suddenly doesn't look so bad. Couldn't be wrong just to try it one more time... and before you know it, good ol' Addiction gets to slide back in to his old home making room for his helpful new buddies.

While you're already down the demon of depression easily moves in helping Self Doubt make you feel worse than before and the battle to fight them off is a bigger fight than before.

All analogies of course but this is how I interpret these verses as how they could be happening in our lives today.

The battle for our souls wages on empowered by our freedom of choice and our sinful nature. But I try to remember too that there are more ANGELS battling for us than there are demons against us. Even just considering the numbers should help boost my confidence that this is a battle we can WIN!

- Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

Blessed Be Your Name

2010-01-24T10:25:00.008-08:00

Blessed Be Your Name

Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

And blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your name

And blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name.

~ Matt Redman

All month this song has been going through my head. Parts of it playing over & over while I ponder what has happened over the past few months & the 'giving & taking away' that has seemed to be repetetive for the last year. But I was struggling with the last lines of the song "My heart will choose to say Lord Blessed Be Your Name". I wasn't getting over the 'taking away' of things and wanting to praise after the darkness of things. Too often it felt like 'ok kids, here you go, enjoy this great gift... followed by a "just kidding'"!!

Its hard to feel like God is just toying with you. I just don't understand it. Sort of like Job... why was Satan allowed to torment him like that while God watched on? Taking away everything only to give it back later. I just don't know what point that proved, other than to Satan that Job was faithful & could tolerate the worst he dealt out. But why, why did he have to if he was such a faithful man. Why was he involved in the game? Some things God does, I'll never understand. We're not all as strong as Job. I know I'm not. I can't always find the praise in me after the crummy stuff happens.

I get that Satan's demons are around us, trying to sway us in any way possible from our faith, from doing good, from being a witness, from praying... from all things holy & praiseful. And its obvious how well they are suceeding looking at the world around us... or even just looking at the Christians around us, but mostly just looking within, at myself. A few moments of bitterness can build to many moments and push out all desire to pray, praise or even see the blessings that are still surrounding us.

So, I gratefully keep this song in my heart, in my head, and sing it out loud when I can, to remind myself to praise Him in the good & bad times, in the bright & dark times, in the giving AND taking away!

Knock

2010-01-22T12:57:00.001-08:00

Can this really be January??

"...knock and it will be opened to you.". ~ Matthew 7:7

So perhaps God is going to open some doors to us afterall this month. It may not be the ones we were hoping for or expecting. But perhaps something greater than our expectations. And wouldn't that be amazing.

It's funny (or not so funny) how one can get jaded after so many failed desires and expectations. It's hard to have joy or excitement when you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But trying despite past disappointments regardless.

The house viewing didn't go as we hoped but it was ok. That home and property was clearly not for us. We'll keep looking though as we work thru this other opportunity.

I'm just trying to have faith that God is God and He always knows what He's doing.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you. ~ Matthew 6:33

Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

Heart's Desires

2010-01-19T20:40:00.002-08:00

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. " Psalm 37:4

I often cling to this verse when there is something I want badly. Like by reading it to myself over & over I convince myself that I will have what I want because it is 'the desire of my heart'. And then when that thing that I want is denied to me, or worse, taken away, then I scowl inwardly & wonder why I'm being denied my heart's desires.

As I mature in my faith (which I readily admit matures and regresses often in waves) I remember that there are many verses SURROUNDING this one. For example, verse 3 says "Trust in the Lord, and do good.." oh yeah, TRUST... Do Good! Um, sort of ignored that part. And then that verse following it.. .verse 5 "Commit your way to the Lord. (oops) Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Right... sorry Lord. I guess I need to do a bit more reading before I get too wrapped up in the way things are worded assuming its all for my benefit.

But, here I am again today. Having another new desire in my heart. You see that photo above. Its of a property that we discovered on the real estate market today. A lovely acreage, with its own creek running thru it. Is it a desire given by God? or by man? A place where we might belong? Or not yet where the Lord wants us to be. The only way I can know it is if I Trust & Commit to see if its a God given desire. And then of course, we wait... verse 7. "Rest in the Lord, and wait paitiently for Him" Really... you know patience is not one of my virtues Lord.

If you don't know by now, we are hoping to move. Our house has been for sale for almost a year, and it starting to get discouraging. Over the past year, a few other homes/properties have popped up that we thought we wanted and for one reason or another, did not come to pass for us. Some reasons were obvious, others were strangely unobvious. We continued to wait & pray for God to give us a big obvious sign of where He wanted us. But we found Him to be silent. So we took that as a sign that we needed to keep waiting.

We're still not sure how long we are to wait. Nothing has peaked our interest for months. But... just today, the desire for a new place was rekindled.

And I will read ALL of Psalm 37 over & over while we wait, not clinging to one verse to be fulfilled and if this isn't the time or place... we will keep looking because

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand." Psalm 37:23-24

Lazy Blogging :)

2010-01-18T22:15:00.000-08:00

A strange thing happens when your computer dies... You find new and easier ways to keep the status quo!

My laptop croaked on the weekend and I was lamenting it's death and wondering how I could continue to blog. My friend Barb came for a lovely visit today and "showed me the way"!! Hello iPhone blogging!!

So as I type this I am comfortably laying in my bed all cozy and feeling oh-so lazy.
I will get back to posting a more thoughtful post soon but just had to try out this comfy new style of blogging before I force myself to sit up and pull out my Bible!!

In the meantime here's a quick snapshot of the joy of my heart riding his bike this morning.

Wishing you all cozy lazy ways to blog. Goodnight.

- Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

Greater

2010-01-14T10:34:00.006-08:00

"He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4

I'm still reading This Present Darkness this week, as time allows. And I think it has been a very good way to start my year. Not only has it got me thinking about prayer constantly, but it really has made me aware of the spiritual battle that is constantly going on around us.

And while its not a new concept to me, I'm really starting to discover how OFTEN in the Bible we are told to be aware of it, to pray for intercession and reminded that we have the power & authority to do something about it and be involved.

While I've spent many moments in dark days of the past clinging to verses about God's protection on me, I seem to skip over the verses about the enemy's hold & dominion on this world and how we are to be fighting against it.

I'm reminding, reading this book, that God has given us the Holy Spirit so that we have the authority WITHIN us, far greater that we often realize to rebuke, withstand, cast out, resist the evils of this world.

Day by day I'm going to be trying to find these verses and learn them to remind myself that we are not only gifted with this great authority & power, but that we are asked to use it wisely. This will go hand in hand with my desire for prayer this year as I learn to pray in ways we are asked to do so.

Prayer - 2010

2010-01-10T20:02:00.003-08:00

I read on another blog today (CraftTeaLady here) about having a 'word of the year' (as detailed here) A word that you can focus on for the year, reflect on and impress on your daily life. I wondered what my word would be, given the stuff I've been thinking about in the first few days of this year, and the thoughts I've had these past few days. No other word would come to my mind except "prayer". 2010 is my year to learn to pray again.

It is true what I said... about my imagination carrying on into my dreams and how I am usually careful of what I see/read before bed. Luckily, although I was reading This Present Darkness before I went to bed lastnight, I also was watching Under the Tuscan Sun - a movie that is one of my favourites because I really loved visiting Italy. So, I didnt' sleep that well, thinking of Italy half the night. However, when my son woke in the night around 2am and I nursed him back to sleep, that was when my thoughts turned to the things I read in the book, thoughts of evil spirits & heavenly hosts, and sitting in the dark actually made me somewhat nervous lastnight, so I prayed. I cuddled my son and I prayed.

This afternoon, it seemed like a 'series of unfortunate events' unfurled in front of me as one upsetting thing after another happened to me in less than an hour. My first instinct was to raise my fist to Heaven and lament 'why me, Lord? Hasnt' my week been bad enough?' but then I thought of the other side of the battle. The side of evil throwing all these awful things into my path causing me sadness & weariness & feelings of defeat all so close together. Ah ha, I thought, you start to learn more about the spiritual realm & their affects on the world and they see fit to up the anti and pounce you a little harder. And so I prayed!

I must confess the 'unfortunate events' didn't stop at that prayer! Next, I dropped a jar of Ragu in the grocery aisle, shattering the glass, splattering a huge mess & making me feel humiliated and near tears, but suceeded to make it home before bursting into a sob & pouring a glass of wine. But shortly after my outburst, I could only look back on the past hour or so and laugh. What a mess of nasty things trying to ruin my afternoon one after another!! And why? I had moments of anger, embarassment, sadness & defeat all within the span of 90 minutes!! Talk about kicking me while I'm down.

But here I am, smiling about it and clinging to my new word of the year "prayer". And I don't think I chose this word lightly or that it will be easy. Learning to pray is actually a big deal, a task that will require me to think about it daily, to make an effort to do. One too easy to forget, too easy to ignore but too important to survive.

So, I will pray. I will learn to pray. I will try to pray. And I will see what becomes of 2010.

This Present Darkness

2010-01-09T21:51:00.005-08:00

"For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers or this present darkness..." Ephesians 6:12 (RSV)

So out of sheer boredom lastnight (and being trapped in the livingroom for a few moments) I picked up "This Present Darkness" by Frank Peretti. Its been on my shelf for some time. Always with intentions of getting read but unfortunately, I only have time to read at night. My mom read the series years ago & thought it was great and encouraged me to read it... in the day time. heheh Because, I have always posessed a vivid imagination that carries thru into my dreams. For this reason, I do not watch scary or suspenseful shows at night... or read scarey or suspenseful BOOKS at night. Because inevitably, they make their way into my dreams.

However, I feel like I'm ready to read this book. It took me several tries to 'get into it'. I like a book that can hook me in the first few paragraphs... this one failed to do so. (What can I say, I read the Twilight series like every other tween and stay-at-home mom... they were gripping! LOL)

But somewhere around page 45 it finally got my interest... when the warriors of heaven were introduced!! Amazing! So I read on. And in just a few short pages I am overwhelmed with the reminder of how much prayer can intercede for us. And how little of this type of praying I've ever done in my life... especially for anyone else.

I think many Christians don't spend much time thinking about the spiritual battle that is warring on every side of them 24-7. The world likes the airy-fairy thoughts of guardian angels, some nicey-nice creature that prevented them from slipping on the ice, or getting hit by a rogue driver. Sure... I buy that. I think they are there doing that for us as well. But that's definitely the easiest part of their jobs. And I'm pretty sure the images of chubby cherubs or whispy fairies with wings makes these mammoth warriors roll their eyes & draw their swords. No, I don't think our guardian angels are meek & mild, but fierce, powerful and strong.

However... should we just be content knowing that they are there, fighting the battles while we carry on our lives, unimpressed by their presence? Again I wonder, what is our roll in this battle that surrounds us daily? How do we fight the battle we can't see with our eyes? How do we survive spiritual warfare when we hardly take the time to acknowledge that it exists?

We all read about the "Armour of God" in Sunday School like its some childish costume to be adorned. I picture a shield with the word "faith" etched into the steel ... but I don't consider a way to strengthen my faith. And the sword of the spirit? How can I wield the weapon with any usefulness if I can't pull my strength from the Spirit of God... and so on with each part of armour.

I might as well be going to battle naked & unarmed because that is how little I know of fighting a spiritual battle.

Ahh, but the most important piece of armour that I can wield at any time and again is prayer. The piece that I most often forget. It can be a whisper for a protection from an evil presence... or a shout, commanding them to flee before Jesus' name.

Lately, my prayers have been "all about me", asking a lot of questions, mostly 'why' and 'when'. Wondering, hoping, straining to listen for the replies. Forgetting the battle around me, around us all, forgetting anyone else, the rest of us, the rest of you, intercession, or praise. Forgetting that I'm called to be a warrior as well, not just standing on the side, high-fiving my 'guardian' for fighting my battle and assuming he will always win it for me.

I underlined one line in the book tonight and that is when I paused my reading to come here. When the 'praying pastor' is being encouraged to give up because he might not survive what could come next and he says this: "maybe I won't come out alive. But God didn't tell me I'd come out alive; he just told me to stay and fight."

Stay and fight, friends!

So its been a while...

2010-01-08T20:52:00.003-08:00

Its been quite a long time since I blogged. Over a year obviously. I don't know if anyone reads this anymore and that's ok. Just sort of needed to get it going again to filter some of my own thoughts.

2009 was both wonderful & tough on us. Many wonderful moments spent with the joy of our lives, our blessing, our son, Ethan. He fills every corner of our home with love, laughter & smiles. Who could ask for more?

But we've had some frustrating moments, some stressful moments & some sad moments too. And while 2009 ended on a high & happy note, 2010 has started on a sad one. And it has left us confused, angry, and wondering what the whole year has in store from us when it starts this way.

We know we want to move in this year, we hope that we can sell our house & finally move on as 2009 felt like a LOT of waiting in limbo, discontentment and wondering where we will go next.

It really feels like God has been silent to us for a long time. While we know we are surrounded by His blessings daily, I can't help but sing the words "He gives & takes away" over & over a lot lately. I get the giving... I don't get the taking away, the silence, the leaving us wondering! Its easy to get wrapped up in the silence & the taking away or the denying. I know the blessings are there too. I see it in the precious blue eyes of my child 100x a day, in the smile of my husband, in the coziness & love that flows thru our little house. I feel it in our bubble... but it feels like it too could be gone in a heartbeat, in a whisper, in a blink if I'm not greatful for it every minute. And I am. But... it seems the desires of our hearts are getting squashed over & over again. We are afraid to want. Afraid to dream. Afraid to make new goals. Afraid of the 'taking away'

I'm not as strong as Job. I'm having a hard time 'praising in the storm'. My patience for many things is getting weaker & weaker. I suppose its forcing me to live in and love the moment. But the future is out there, whether we plan or dream about it or not.

And what's in the future. Inevitable world suffering, sin, death, plagues, disturbances, terrorism, destruction... it seems so bleak. Not that I would give up the present knowing what's in store for this earth in the future but it does make me stop & take stock. What should our next step be as Christians? How should we be preparing for this coming future? Sitting in a pew singing songs? On bended knee praying for peace? Or preparing for the battle that is to be ours? I think we're asked to prepare. Praying is part of it for sure... but peace is not what we should be asking for, I think we need to be asking for strength and wisdom. The only peace will come much later. I don't think Christians will have a meek roll in these coming times. I don't think our God calls us to be armed only with a message of salvation.

See, so many thoughts of the future coupled with living in the present. It feels so contradictory. Lawrence & I talk about THAT future a lot & wonder what our roll will be when the going starts to get really tough for this planet. And yet... we face daily battles in our present and seek out our daily blessings to keep us focused on the good instead of just the bad.

So, I guess I'm just thinking about this coming year, hoping for clarity, hoping for God's voice, His direction and less of His silence. We've asked for Him in 2009 to shout at us, we've listened for the quiet voice and heard neither. So, I guess I need to find a new way to listen in 2010.

It's Harder To Blog These Days

2008-11-15T15:09:00.002-08:00

.... when everything in life becomes one-handed, and a left hand at that!

That being said, life is certainly adaptable to all these changes. My body gets used to less sleep and my heart expands so it can fit in all these new feelings of love and joy. And, I can type pretty well with one hand! :)

Thoughts After Midnight

2008-09-26T01:14:00.007-07:00

"You can talk to me, lamb, I'll keep your secrets"

"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven" Ecclesiastes 3:1

My how things change in life in a short period of time! When I first started this blog I was needing a way to express the thoughts going thru my head about myself, my God and my photos. And I searched thru blogland looking for some similar bloggers & made contact with several of you through your blogs because of this.

At the time I couldn't believe how many 'stay at home mom' type of blogs there were. Having no desire to start having children at that time, I most likely skimmed past those blogs in order to read others.

Hard to believe I'm one of those types now, my whole world suddenly changed & consumed by this tiny miracle of life called 'baby'.

While things like nature photography, hiking & adventures have gone on the back-burner, life has become a new sort of adventure I suppose. No time to photograph God's outdoor beauty, there are no shortage of subjects indoors. Like chubby toes, gummy smiles, and downy hair.

And my body may not be healed enough to go hiking yet, but a walk to town with a stroller is the newest outdoor challenge for us, small wheels bumping over side-walk joints and the fervent wish that a small boy will stay asleep while getting the benefit of the fresh air & God-made vitamin D.

As the season changes outside to my favourite season of fall, the colors slowly change, I'm no less reminded of God's majesty in creation but those thoughts fall by the wayside as I am awestruck of His miracle creation of my son.

Yes, things change! Thank you, Lord, for changes, outdoors, indoors & in our hearts.

Baby Days

2008-08-23T11:19:00.004-07:00

Ethan Jacob Wolfe

Born July 23

My baby boy is one month old today!!

Time has both flown & dragged in this month. Becoming parents is overwhelmingly awesome & tiring. Healing from giving birth makes time stand still. Spending days with a little one makes time fly.

He is wonderful. We are blessed that he is a good baby while we struggle with healing & learning & exhaustion & learning the whole routine.

He is so precious & we are so in love!

6 days old

Can't Sleep...Giving Thanks

2008-06-19T23:06:00.003-07:00

Preparaions for baby are still happening around here - a dresser was built, a crib put together & placed and lots of sorting & organizing happening - my wonderful hard-working husband is in dreamland & I'm back out of bed wide awake.

Excited? Anxious? Restless? I'm not sure which!

The funny thing is I have the song "This is the day that the Lord has made" running through my head. Not sure if its reminding me of the day I just had or preparing me for the day that is about to become?

Today was rather simple - sunny but not too hot. Enjoyable enough to keep all the windows open without turning on the air - I'm thankful for that. Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer - the a/c may need to be on but it might also mean I get to splash around in my pool (my pregnancy investment - a kiddie pool) and I would be thankful for that as well. Maybe its just a reminder that I need to be thankful each day, even for the simple things like plastic pools and breezey days.

With this babe racing around my womb like its practicing for the olympics, its hard to lay down & let my body relax. I suppose any mother will tell me that the worrying only begins during pregnancy & probably will last for life. As we draw to the close of this phase of our lives and we look at embarking on the next one: parenthood, there are plenty of things I could be worried about...and I'm sure I will be. So, I'm just trying to be thankful for the moment to moment things. Thankful that my baby is so active that I get constant reassurance that things are ok in there. Thankful that I'm feeling great & not having any complications. Thankful for the abnormally cool spring - helps keep the gardens growing, keeps the a/c off, and keeps me from being too warm. Thankful that my husband's business keeps him busy enough that we can be financially able to provide for ourselves & this new little miracle. Yes, there are many MORE things to be thankful for than there are to be worrying about.

And while I may not be ready for sleeping yet tonight, I'm reminded that "this is the night that the Lord has made" - He's right here in the night time as well as the day and some night things can be special too - the breeze rustling the leaves, crickets singing at us till dawn, the odd frog croaking (probably wishing to eat those crickets) and the quietness of a household in slumber.

What do you know - the baby has settled down in my belly ... maybe I can get some sleep afterall.

Good night friends!

I'm coming back - honest!

2008-05-31T21:35:00.003-07:00

As usual, time is flying and I've been uncreative in blog land.

But it feels like summer is here & the world around me in in blossom - actually, the world OF me is in blossom too as we have less than two months until our little one makes his or her debut in this world.

I just wanted to check in & say hi & let you know that I plan on being back real soon.

Where Have I Been?

2008-04-14T17:34:00.002-07:00

Hello Friends! Thanks so much for asking, wondering & waiting patiently. I'm here and I'm still appreciative of blogs & blogging. I just feel my whole little world has been wrapped up in 'being pregnant' that some days I don't know what to say or even where to start.

A quick recap on my life this past month or so.

Spring has arrived in the Okanagan and the world is greening up around me. The crocuses have finished their blooming, tulips are about at the half-way point and all my other perrenials are making their presence known. In a couple weeks, my yard will be BURSTING with lilac blooms and I will be praising God for one of my most favourite flowers & fragrances. I can't wait.

I've been digging up irises. Seriously! I hate those things. They take over like a giant tuberous weed. I want to plant some other things and so where I can take up the battle, I am. I can't work in the garden for long because my belly seems to get in the way but I make small efforts. What a strange & amusing root system irises have. They are FUN to dig up because the challenge of unearthing this large bulbous thing cracks me up. Did you ever see the Harry Potter movie where they planted mandrakes? This is what the iris root looks like to me. I dug them all up, loaded them in the wheelbarrow & then wheeled them over to my husband to see if he agreed. We figured any minute they would start shreeking at us.

So, I hope to clear some spots to put more perrenials. More daisies, a spirea bush, one more lilac bush and maybe a burning bush. Flowers & foliage. How I love this time of year!

Lawrence and I had a first on Sunday. Our pastor & his wife were away at a conference and so the two of us led worship. Though our newly formed little congregation is rather tiny, we are a great family of believers and so standing up there in front of that little group of friends wasn't as intimidating as I thought it would be. Apparently we even did a good job & picked some pretty good songs. It was fun picking the songs & practicing together. I always beam with pride when I hear him play guitar & sing but to be able to be singing together was always a dream of mine even before I met him because I've loved to sing for so long. I felt oh-so-blessed that it was something we could do together! Thank you Lord for the gift of music!!

As for the pregnancy stuff, things are going great. I am, apparently, a model patient according to my wonderful doctor. Everything is normal, measuring well & no complications so to speak. Our little one is VERY active and spends half the day booting, dancing, wiggling and swimming around in my womb much to my amusement. All the nausea & morning sickness is finally gone - aside from regular morning routine stuff, I'm feeling really good. I am amazed what the female body can do! Though I wear out really easy and have no strength because I was feeling so awful all winter, I am happy that its spring so I can get outside, walk a bit, stretch a bit and just embrace this new & exciting time in our lives. I promise I'll post a photo eventually!

Although I haven't been actively posting them, I still invite you to visit the site for the Voice of the Martyrs at www.persecution.com and pray for our brothers and sisters that are imprisoned, harmed, humiliated, even tortured for their faith. Pray that they will stay strong in their faith. Pray for their health and their safety. Pray that they will know of God's love & steadfastness even in the midst of their persecution. And if you have even more time, write them letters of encouragement.

Thanks for stopping by. I'll try to post more often and visit your blogs more when I get the chance as wel.

Just A Little

2008-03-05T11:09:00.003-08:00

"A little that a righteous man has is better than the riches of many wicked." Pslam 37:16

We live in a little old house, and for this I am thankful. 2 bedrooms, one bath, an office area, a kitchen, eating area & living room. That's it! Some days it feels too small. And with the new baby coming, I'm sure some days its going to feel even smaller. Some days I wish for an extra bathroom or a little more closet space. Some days I think cleaning the floors will never end and wouldn't wish for one more square foot.

Even though its a small house I'm appreciative what we have. We've made it a home. Its cozy, its welcoming & warm, and its our happy place. You could call it a Love Nest but we want all who visit to feel the love & welcome that's there too, despite its size & age.

Like everyone, we have goals & dreams for where we'll live next. More property, another bedroom or two for our growing family, maybe a view, and definitely room for a shop for Lawrence's business. Some days we scan the realty pages and drool over bigger & beautiful homes. Homes you can get lost in with many rooms and areas.

But when we come home, we are always grateful for what we have.

I think when I spent some time in Africa it help me put a few things in perspective. While we travelled, we lived with the bare necessities...but we saw so many living with even LESS! At times we felt sorry for the ones in tiny huts & tiny villages. But what shocked me most was that they didn't seem to feel sorry for themselves. I saw joy! I saw laughter! I saw sharing & caring for eachother! And I felt so much welcome for each place we visited! What was there to feel sorry about? The little they had brought them joy anyways.

I think I need that reminder more often!

Joy!

2008-02-25T15:20:00.006-08:00

"You visit the earth and water it, You greatly enrich it;... You crown the year with Your goodness ... the little hills rejoice on every side... they shout for JOY, they also sing." ~ Psalm 65: 9, 11, 12, 13

I feel like singing & shouting for joy today! It is a BEAUTIFUL sunny day and Spring is definitely in the air. But now I see, it is also bursting from the ground. For the last week or so I have been scoping out my backyard, waiting for those first signs of life poking thru with green shoots! Those first blades of the crocus plant. Today I found them. Oh, I'm sure they've been popping up in yards everywhere for a couple weeks now, but these are in my yard, and my yard gets a lot of shade so I had to be patient!

And today my patience paid off. For there they were stretching out of the cold damp earth and reaching towards heaven, towards the warmth of the sun.

Yes, the ice is still on the lakes, yes there is still snow in the corners of the yard and yes, chances are real that a few flakes could STILL fall, but these little heralds of spring pay no attention to all that and reach through all the same!

Praise God for greatly enriching the earth!

Still Waiting

2008-02-18T17:43:00.004-08:00

"Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage" Psalm 27:14

Its certainly not kayaking season yet!

Spring is starting to let its presence be known here in the valley. The sun has been coming out for us and for people like me, having a sunny day changes my whole attitude. I love the sun. Winters can be so dreary here and when we have sunny days I feel the sun in my soul. It encourages me. I had been waiting to feel its warmth on my face! And now, in mid-February, its finally gaining some warmth. The temps rise above freezing, the snow is melting and believe it or not, rumors of crocuses in bloom are being whispered here & there.

And so, another sunny and somewhat warm day, I took myself down to the lake. I was greeted with this huge ice shelf full of cracks & caverns. On the side of the lake where the wind blows the most it pushes the ice up onto the shore to make amazing formations!

I got up close & took some photos, hearing the ice cracking, breaking & dripping all around me. I stomped the softer ice to encourage it to break & melt sooner. I threw rocks out a little further to see how strong it was...still pretty strong.

And so, we are still waiting for the warmth, the thaw and the sign of green things. But I am thankful for sunny days to encourage & warm my soul. I'm thankful that the ice can hold some wonder for me while I wait for it to melt away.

"...and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord." Psalm 27:14

A Catch Up

2008-01-28T15:14:00.000-08:00

I feel so far behind in blogging that I don't even know where to start to catch up. I also apologize for not posting "Voice of The Martyrs" lately. I know some of you appreciate reading those & I will try to get back to posting them regularly so we can continue to pray for persecuted Christians!

We woke up to a somewhat awful site this morning. The big beautiful elm trees that give our backyard summer shade & all season privacy were torn down. Now, they were growing in the neighbours yard, and while we know he has every right to cut down his own trees, it was devastating to us. Now the back just seems like a big open hole, gaping wide to the old aggregate plant that they are also in the process of tearing down. Dirt & dust everywhere. I guess I can be at least thankful that they are doing this in the winter when all windows are closed because the snow in my backyard is no longer white!

But more about these trees, besides losing our privacy and shade from the blistering afternoon summer sun, we are losing a lot more. My squirrels lived in that tree. I hope they had more warning than we did. There are more smaller trees on the side of our property. I can only hope that they might want to stick around for the sake of a few extra peanuts. I so enjoyed watching them chase eachother & run & leap from tree to tree!

Also, these trees house 1000s of birds during the year, some that built their nest in them, others that just hang out for the shade and sing their little hearts out. It was just last fall that dozens of my most favourite bird, the red-winged blackbird, took a rest in this tree before they journeyed on, giving me outstanding joy! And, from time to time, a very large owl has taken refuge in these elms, hanging out during the afternoon till it was dusk & time for him to go on the prowl!

The neighbour also cut down a large tree that was between our houses, that offered us privacy while we sat in our office, between their family entertainment room. Now, I can sit at my desk and stare at them while they watch tv. Its such a disappointment. Thank goodness for blinds!

Aside from this oh-so-depressing day of losing trees, things have been going well here in the Wolfe household. My pregnancy nausea isn't quite as bad as before although other lovely symptoms seem to be more than happy to take the spot if nausea is giving me a break!

The weather has been quite chilly lately but fortunately, while cold, it has also given us clear blue sunny skies. I did sneak out one day to Hayne's Point (where I took the above squirrel photos) but the cold wind drove me back home pretty quick!

However, looking at the weather pages of our neighbours to the direct east, Alberta is getting some serious sub-zero temps this week. And to the south, Washington just got hammered with some really heavy snowfall so I guess we don't have it so bad here afterall!

I've been reading the books of Samuel. I'm not sure what motivated me but I started at chapter one and now I'm half way through second Samuel. I suppose its because its an interesting read of battles, treason, love & hate and God's preservation of His chosen ones! I always wonder when David had time to write all those beautiful Psalms when he was either on the run or conquering others in battle. When you pair the Psalms he wrote with moments throughout the books of Samuel, you see a whole other side of the story. Worship, fear, anger, passion, thankfulness and more! I love the Psalms but it has given me a new perspective by refreshing myself on all the journeys David took in his life!

Anyways, bundle up if you're in the deep freeze of winter & enjoy the warmth if you are so fortunate to be in a warmer location!

God Bless!

Winter Weather

2008-01-05T18:01:00.000-08:00

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope." Psalm 130:5

What a strange weathered week it has been again. I finally got out for a much needed walk this week, taking my camera with me for the first photos of 2008. The first photos in a long time actually as I just haven't been feeling up to taking pictures.

As always, my feet led me to my favourite park, Hayne's Point, where I have posted countless photos in the past. I didn't get to have a long walk as the gentle snow that was falling turned into stinging ice rain, blasting every which way in the wind!

I managed to head to the side of the point that was the calmest and I wanted to check out the ice on the lake. It was smooth & solid. No interesting crevices or cracks like what I found last January but smooth with bits of snow blown across leaving beautiful formations all the way across to town. It felt peaceful on that side. The world was a dim grey blue as the snow ice fell!

There was a skiff of snow on the smooth ice so I bent down & wrote 2008 in the snow. Just to remind myself it was my first time out with my camera in the new year!

Usually I like to walk around Hayne's Point and think, talk to God, think about life & what is going on in the world. But with the wind and that stinging snow, I didn't do much but think of how I could take a couple pictures without getting my camera pelted too many times.

I like the shape of these trees in the winter. I took similar photos to the one below last year. When the sky is so bright & the world beyond is so hazy it makes them look silhouetted, and lonely. I found a bit of shelter from the wind where I could take a few more because the weather was right (despite the snow & wind) for this same silhouette to occur - and who knew when I'd have the energy to come again on such a day. I got a few shots that I was pleased with.

Though I'm more of a spring & fall girl, and I'm already eagerly anticipating Spring, I love that I can find moments of beauty in all the seasons and that I was granted some strength (and respite from my nausea) for this brisk winter weather walk.

2008: Its Going To Be Great

2008-01-02T13:47:00.000-08:00

My heart is overflowing with a GOOD THEME; I recite composition concerning the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer. ~ Psalm 45:1

Happy New Year my blog friends! Can you believe its 2008 already? Where did the time go? I'd like to commit to blogging more in this new year, and new month as I know I was seriously lacking in the past little while. But still, I'm struggling.

I suppose its time to share with you the reasons for my struggle. I am pregnant! Very exciting news for our household as this is the first child for Lawrence and I and we are thrilled.

However, with that joy & anticipation has come a LOT of sickness for me. I have been very nauseous & ill, all of December & part of November. Oh the price to pay to bring a miracle into this world. So, in my nausea & fatigue, I just haven't had the energy to blog, or even read blogs for that matter & I apologize to you whom I used to visit so frequently.

The good news is the end of the first trimester is not far away, well, a couple more weeks, and maybe I shall have some relief in sight for that! I hope & pray that I do!

So, with my seasonal new year's wishes to you all, I revived the verses I posted on January 1st of last year! I'm really looking forward to 2008. So many wonderful changes are occuring that I'm anticipating, both in our home lives, the life of our new church which will be undergoing a location change, and the spiritual vibe that is coming alive in this community. A Good Theme has already begun and I see it will carry forth in 2008, with nothing to beat it down or stand in its way!

I offer you verses from Psalms for starting the new year with a Good Theme:

Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. ~ Ps. 37:5

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. ~ Ps. 90:12

This is the day which the Lord has made; we will rejoice & be glad in it. ~Ps. 118:24

Your word is a lamp unto my feet & and light to my path. ~Ps. 119:105

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord! ~ Ps. 150:6

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T09:47:00.000-08:00

Friends! I thank you all so much for the greetings & well wishes (and 'where are you?'s) you have left in my comments over the past month.

Sorry I have been an absentee blogger. Haven't felt all that great this month & am hoping for an improvement & rededication to blogging in January!

My husband and I wanted to wish a wonderful & blessed Christmas to you & your families, where ever you are on this beautiful globe! God bless in 2008!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Winter & Spring - all in one week

2007-12-05T13:25:00.000-08:00

"He comes from the north as golden splendor; with God is awesome majesty." Job 37:22

So much snow! We had so much snow fall on Saturday & Sunday! It was beautiful & bright & dangerous. We were meant to go out to visit family on Sunday but after some contemplation, we decided to just go back home & watch it from the safety of our living room. It just wasn't stopping & wasn't quite worth the risk of driving in it.

And then, overnight Sunday, the temperature started to creep up and it began to rain, and rain, AND RAIN. The snow was melting away on Monday! Tuesday morning we woke to find our yards bare & void of any hint that it had snow. The sun came out & we walked around town in nothing but sweaters, no jackets needed!

How does the temperature change so drastically? What is the purpose of it? Last winter when the snow came in November, it stayed with us until well into the new year. I kind of figured this would happen again but here we are back to brown & bare. And the grass looks so green today! You would think it was one last Spring storm & the buds should be popping out tomorrow!

I have one silly lilac bush that never knows what time of year it is. It had full thick buds on it early November. Last January I noticed it was doing the same thing. And then, after all that effort, it didn't produce one flower. Its too confused to get it right.

With all this talk of global warming affecting this and that, the cold temperatures we had last week just made me scoff at the term 'global warming' but then here we are today, sunny and about +7 Celcius! Crazy stuff!

I've posted before on the verses in the book of Job that talk about weather...

"From the chamber of the south comes the whirlwind, and cold from the scattering winds of the north. By the breath of God ice is given, and the broad waters are frozen. Also with moisture He saturates the thick clouds; He scatters His bright clouds. And they swirl about, being turned by His guidance, that they may do whatever He commands them on the face of the whole earth. He causes it to come, whether for correction, or for His land, or for mercy." Job 37:9-13

I like that last part, as to why God causes weather - for correction, for His land, or for mercy. Whenever we get strange or wonderful or fierce weather, I wonder about this verse. I wonder why we are having it. Often I wonder if its for correction. I wonder this about New Orleans, and where the other hurricanes & tsunamis hit. All within God's power to change, to wield, to release. I can say the whole world needs a lot of correction, and many areas also need mercy and in between, He's just taking care of His land so that it will continue to flourish.

And then I think of our own lives and the weather that passes through our souls. We can have snow storms one day, fear of going out into the world, feeling angry, feeling sad ~ the storm can last for days, holding our souls captive, or, the very next day, a spring-like warmth can come, reviving & rejuvinating our souls. Letting the greeness of new growth & new life burst forth. Maybe the storm was for correction, maybe the spring sun was for mercy.

Weather on the earth, weather in our souls - all part of God's divine plan!

Let The Flame Burn Brighter

2007-11-28T09:08:00.000-08:00

Let the Flame Burn Brighter

~ Graham Kendrick

We'll walk the land, with hearts on fire

And every step will be a prayer

Hope is rising, new day dawning

Sound of singing fills the air.

Two thousand years and still the flame

Is burning bright across the land

Hearts are waiting, longing, aching,

For awakening once again.

Let the flame burn brighter

In the heart of the darkness

Turning night to glorious day

Let the song grow louder

As our love grows stronger

Let it shine, Let it shine

We'll walk for truth, speak out for love

In Jesus' name we shall be strong

To lift the fallen, to save the children

To fill the nations with your song!

Let the flame burn brighter
In the heart of the darkness
Turning night to glorious day
Let the song grow louder
As our love grows stronger
Let it shine, Let it shine.

Nope, this isn't me. We had some 'fire dancers' performing last summer! It was loads of fun to photograph these, using different shutter speeds & stuff!

Thin Ice

2007-11-26T20:27:00.000-08:00

Bubbles & cracks in very thin ice

"These six things the Lord hates..." Proverbs 6:16

I just don't understand people! Really! Why do Christians hurt other Christians? Why do we go out of our way to kick a brother or sister when they are down? How is it that we can be the ones to push eachother down? Doesn't Christian mean "Christ like", 'striving to be like Christ', or at least "Christ Follower"? How is it that we can lead one another to the edge of thin ice & then say 'go walk on it' and turn our backs?

We have been praying for revival in our church, for revival in our individual lives. I think its coming but it has come in a way that is unexpected. Well, God uses whatever ways He sees fit to do His work!

Sometimes a total cleansing needs to take place. Sometimes a total breakdown has to happen. Not everyone will like it. People will talk, people will say things, people will gossip, people will hurt others...because they are people! God can change any person! But He is very clear on things He doesn't like to see happen...

"These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies and one who sows discord among brethren." Proverbs 6:16-19

The last part of the verse sticks out the most to me "one who sows discord among brethren" and its the part that baffles me the most. I know that even in the church world the phrase "why can't we all just get along" is not something that is possible. But the gossip that flies around corners of sanctuaries, beneathe the pews & around the alters of our churches today ... well, I guess sometimes it just surprises me!

Yes, our pastor has been encouraging us to pray for a revival, individually & in the church. I see it coming! I believe he sees it too! God will not be slowed down by gossip, by discord, or by wicked plans. God never treads on thin ice and He will not let a revival fall through the cracks!

Deck the Halls

2007-11-22T13:23:00.000-08:00

Fa, la, la, la, laaaa, La, la, la, laaaaaa

Anyone who knows me well knows that Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year. And I also LOVE Christmas decorating. I'm of the "Go big or Go home" school of thought. While I know decorations and lights aren't for everyone, it is definitely for me. I don't just deck the halls, I deck the living room, deck the kitchen, the bathroom, the boot room. A snowman hangs in my car. A mistletoe hangs in my bedroom. I have a USB lit Christmas tree that plugs into my laptop. The bird cage has bows and a bell. The windows have stickies on them, as do half the mirrors!

November 1st, the first few hints of Christmas start appearing. I start with a snowman here & there because they are my favourites. As the month progresses a few more things appear. The boxes start being opened as I dig for the ones I cherish the most. Some things from the past get rejected, and a few new ones are always added to the collection.

This year I've even taken photographs of different ornaments in order to print them and put them in the frames that are already hanging up. And I like the results!

I feel festive! I feel jolly! I feel merry! I feel cheery! This IS my favourite time of year and I can't help but hurl my Christmas joy at everyone else.

So many people say "too early! too early". Others say its a big waste of money! Still others claim that they are too lazy, or just too grinchy to bother. But none of these get me down. I love to Deck the Halls and Deck the Halls I shall!

"But what about Jesus?" you might say. Isn't all this decorating frivolous & worldly? I don't think it is. I know what Christmas is all about, that doesn't mean I need to bring out my nativity scenes only & put all the rest away. It doesn't mean I can't find joy in such a joyful season! Its just the way I choose to decorate my house at this time of year. When it all goes away after Christmas, it doesn't make the fact that Jesus came to earth go away any more than it does to have it all out.

Blessings & joy to you all at the start of this Christmas season!

You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Cry

2007-11-13T12:58:00.000-08:00

I was driving around in my car this afternoon running little errands and of course, 'tis the season, I have a Christmas CD playing. Being a lover of all things Christmas, it was an eccletic mix of both children's songs, instrumentals, spirituals & downright funny Christmas tunes.

Just before I got home "Santa Claus is Coming To Town" started playing (sung by Grover from Sesame Street no less) and as I listened to it, I started to chuckle. It seems we spend more time warning ourselves and our children to prepare for Santa's coming than we do for Jesus' coming.

Truly, if you listen to the words, you could easily replace every 'Santa Claus' with the words 'Jesus Christ' and it would make a much better song...

You better watch out, you better not cry

You better not pout I'm telling you why

Jesus Christ is comin' back to town

He's made His list, no need to check it twice

He already knows who's naughty & nice

Jesus Christ is comin' back to town

He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good for HEAVEN's sake

ohhhhhh

You better watch out, you better not cry
You better not pout I'm telling you why
Jesus Christ is comin' back to town

Now, I know the words seem somewhat humourous when changed like that but recently, my husband & I and a group of friends, have spent some time talking about the second coming, thinking about what Heaven will be like and wondering how much longer we have till He comes and how we can reach more people before then. After all this talking, thinking & wondering, we know its time we did some DOING. The fields are ripe! The people are ready.

With reality TV to numb the reality of what's going on in our world today, there are less & less people aware of the signs pointing to the second coming. Less concerned about what is going on in the world that is fulfilling prophecies of old. Apathetic to the point that they don't care, they just trust that they are ready. Being personally ready is a great thing, but that's not our calling. We aren't called to be saved and then sit & wait, attend church on Sundays, say grace for our meals and throw a couple bucks in the Salvation Army kettles...we are called to GO! To your neighbours house, your local shelter, your family & friends, another country, another continent, where ever you see someone needing Jesus. We need to make sure they are just as ready as we are!

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations" Matthew 28:19

"Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature." Mark 16:15

"I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again." John 14:3

"Take heed, watch and pray; for you do not know when the time is." Mark 13:33

...wars and rumours of wars

... nation against nation

...earthquakes, famines, pestilences, fearful sights

"Now when these things begin to happen, look up and lift up your heads, because your redemption draws near." Luke 21:28

Renewing

2007-10-24T15:38:00.000-07:00

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16

With the season of fall being in full force, people tend to look at it as the death of the year. Skies are gloomier, colder, darker. Trees & plants are losing their leaves. And soon it will be winter!

Though the leaves turning color are beautiful, it feels as though the tree has died once more for the year. But what is going on behind the scenes. The tree is storing up its nutrients & renewing its energy to get even stronger & bigger for next spring where it will burst forth even more dramatic than the spring before!

And so it should be within our souls. Like the falling of the autumn leaves, so should we be dropping off our sins, our bad habits, our angry attitudes, our gloom & despair. By letting the old perish, there is room for so much more good. Renewal! Out with the old, in with the new! In with Jesus!

Voice of the Martyrs Update

2007-10-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

NIGERIA Christians Killed by Muslims; Hundreds Displaced in Kano, Nigeria -VOM Sources:On September 28, angry Muslims killed 10 Christians and set churches, homes and businesses on fire in Tudun Wada, in Nigeria's Northern state of Kano. According to The Voice of the Martyrs' contacts in Nigeria, "At 9 a.m., Muslims began the attacks, setting fire to homes and churches. They attacked and killed any Christian they came across." More than 50 people were injured, while more than 500 members of the minority Christian population were displaced. VOM contacts added, "Muslim attackers burnt down all eight churches existing in the community, homes and businesses in the area." Christians believe the attack resulted when Muslim students at a government secondary school in the area claimed a Christian student drew a cartoon of the Prophet Muhammad on the wall of the school's mosque. VOM contacts reported, "No Christian student would do this, since the school has nearly 2,000 students and only seven are Christian.... [also] the mosque is usually busy with Muslims praying around the clock during the (Muslim) Ramadan fasting season; therefore, no Christian student would have any way of getting close to the wall of the mosque to make such sketches on the wall." Pray for the families of those killed. Pray the Holy Spirit will be their greatest comforter. Ask God to encourage and provide for believers in this area. Psalm 119:105, Proverbs 3:5, 6

ERITREA Senior Pastor Arrested VOM Sources:Pastor Oqbamichael, a well-known leader of the Kale-Hiwot Church in Eritrea, was arrested and imprisoned. This was the second imprisonment for the pastor in the past two years. In 2005, he was arrested at a Christian wedding and was later released after 10 months in prison, which included solitary confinement and hard labor in the Sawa Military Camp. The arrest of Pastor Oqbamichael follows the recent arrest of Evangelist Mussie Ezaz, who is also a minister in the Kale-Hiwot Church. Pray God sustains and strengthens Pastor Oqbamichael while he is in prison. Pray the Holy Spirit encourages his family and church. Ask God to protect Christians in Eritrea who are serving Him in the midst of severe persecution. John 16:13, 14

AZERBAIJAN UPDATE: Imprisoned Baptist Pastor's Appeal Rejected - Forum 18 News:On October 3, the Sheki Appeal Court in Azerbaijan rejected Pastor Zaur Baleav's appeal to have his two-year prison sentence overturned. According to Forum 18 News Service, the head of the Baptist Union, Ilya Zenchenko, said, "We are stunned at the result the court handed down. We don't know what to do. It is a tragedy for his wife and children. It was all over in two minutes. Zaur's son is distressed, complaining that there is no hope and no law in Azerbaijan. He is very young, but his emotional reaction is understandable." Pray the Holy Spirit encourages Pastor Balaev, his family and believers in Azerbaijan. Ask God to use his testimony to draw non-believers into fellowship with Him. Hebrews 13:5,6; Isaiah 54:17

NIGERIA Christians in Northern Nigeria Threatened and Forced Underground - Compass Direct News: Death threats and other dangers have driven most of the Muslim-background members of a church in Northern Nigeria underground. However, three members have remained. According to Compass Direct News, "Of the 25 converts who formed a church in the northeastern state of Borno two years ago, only three remain. Still while worshipping separately in towns where they reside, once a month the converts brave the threats of Islamic extremists and family members to return to Maiduguri to secretly pray and praise together." Rev. Titus Doma Pona, the founder and pastor of an underground fellowship in Northern Nigeria, told Compass, "The venue and time is agreed among themselves, and the venue is also changed every meeting, so that they are not attacked.". These recent reports of persecution in Northern Nigeria reflect the trials believers endure. Churches have been burned and the abduction and forcible conversion of teenagers by Muslims has become common. Pray for Nigerian Christians who face death, destruction and hatred for their faith in Jesus Christ.Psalm 91; 2 Timothy 1:7

TURKEY Alleged Instigators Named in Malatya Murder; Christians Called to Pray - Compass Direct News: The Turkish media recently discovered an e-mail message sent to Turkish Christian leaders in June, revealing the names of Malatya officials who allegedly plotted to murder three Christians in April. The leaders have submitted the letter to the Malatya prosecutor's office. According to Compass Direct News, "The Firat News Agency (ANF) reported on September 18 that an anonymous e-mail message signed â€˜A.A.' had named a colonel in the Malatya gendarmerie along with an Islamic faculty member, as the instigators of the plot to kill three Christians. The ANF article identified the officer as Mehmet Ulger, but gave only the initials of several others. A September 19 article in Birgun newspaper, however, listed the name of the faulty member as Ruhi Babat. It also identified a member of parliament from Malatya, one military commander and another suspect, claiming that the murder conspiracy had been planned for four or five months in advance." Meanwhile, Christian leaders in Turkey have called on Christian congregations to designate each Thursday for prayer and fasting, praying for the upcoming trial and for other cases in Turkish courts dealing with the rights and freedoms of Christians. Pray God gives Christians in Turkey boldness to stand for Him, and for the Holy Spirit to touch the lives of all those who were involved in the martyrdom of these believers and the persecution of Christians. Isaiah 26:3, Psalm 27:1

CHINA Two House Church Leaders under House Arrest - China Aid Association: On October 1, the Chinese government placed two house church leaders, Hua Huiqi and Liu Fenggang, under house arrest. According to China Aid Association (CAA), "Each of their houses has been surrounded by two dozen police. Some Public Security Bureau (PSB) officers were even staged on top of Pastor Hua's roof in order to prevent anyone from coming in or going out. On October 3, eight PSB officers broke Hua and his wife's bedroom windows, and then cut off the electricity to their house." Hua Huiqi was released from prison in July after serving six months, while Liu Fenggang was released in February after three years in prison. Meanwhile, Hua Huiqi's 77-year-old mother, Shuang Shuying, is serving a two-year sentence. According to CAA, Shuang Shuying was recently beaten severely, received no medical care; she is now dying in her prison cell. Pray for Christians in China who face increased persecution ahead of the 2008 Olympics. Pray God encourages and heals Shuang Shuying in prison. Romans 8:11, Exodus 15: 26

Can't Hide

2007-10-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?" Psalm 139:7

Global satellites have certainly made the world a smaller place. My husband & I were discussing Google Earth yesterday and how we figured that there wasn't too many places left on this planet that one could hide. Satellites can scan all over the world and pick up heat signatures in buildings & caves & things like that. We were wondering where or how new believers could possibly hide during the tribulation. With technology advancing so much it seems almost impossible. But, we also know that with God, nothing is impossible and that He will provide for His faithful during that time.

Supposing that some world terrorist organization is NOT looking for you with their satellites, there are many places to hide in this world, depending on what your hiding from. We can hide from our family or friends by being reclusive, ignoring calls & emails, turning the lights out if someone comes down the driveway. We can hide our feelings by wearing a fake smile, a false outlook or a blank stare. We can hide away from the hustle & bustle of the world by going into the back woods & hills, or to a quieter country with a simpler way of life.

But never, not ever, can we find any place or any way to hide from God. His capabilities go beyond the reach or comprehension of man. He doesn't need fancy technology to know where we are, to know what we are feeling or to see what we are so desperately trying to hide. He can see straight into our heart, the good and the bad, hidden & revealed, loving us despite it all.

Still thankful...after Thanksgiving

2007-10-09T12:41:00.000-07:00

We went away to my brother's place for the Thanksgiving weekend to visit and share a delicious turkey dinner. And it sounds like a lot of other Canadians were doing just the same thing! And I'm glad for it. I thank those of you who commented on my Thanksgiving post.

As we get back in the swing of our week, after a few days of holidays, I'm reminded that we are to be thankful for things every day.

I love the fall so I find it easy to be thankful this time of year for the beauty around me. However, with the fall comes fall allergies and my constant sniffling & itchy eyes this year are trying to steal my joy of this favourite season. Still, with all the driving we did the past few days up north, we got to see many beautiful fall colors that took my breath away, and just looking out my office window here, I see the leaves in my own backyard & front yard are starting to be so vibrant as well. The neighbours tree across the street is bright yellow, my Virginia Creeper vine is a deep wine red, the leaves on my lilac bushes are dark reddish green, the backyard elms are slowly turning yellow and I have a huge patch of bright purple flowers in the front garden that have waited all year for their turn to blossom. So, allergies or not, I'm counting way more reasons to be thankful than reasons to grumble.

And then, below this post, I've posted the recent Voice of the Martyrs updates. And friends, I can count oh-so-many reasons more to be thankful just by reading & praying for our persecuted brothers & sisters in need around the globe. We are called to pray for them like we are there suffering with them.

And so, I will try to live each day with a thankful heart for I can never run out of things to be thankful for.

Voice of the Martyrs Update

2007-10-09T12:38:00.001-07:00

MYANMAR VOM Calls for Prayer for Christians in Myanmar - VOM Sources: The Voice of the Martyrs is calling on believers around the world to pray for Christians being affected by the continued unrest in Myanmar (Burma). According to VOM contacts, the government is targeting anyone with influence, and churches have not been spared. VOM contacts report, "Churches cannot meet. We are quietly meeting in small groups of no more than five to pray for our country. China reports five people have been killed, the British Broadcasting Corporation is saying about 10 have been killed, but our people have seen hundreds of bodies and many more filling the hospitals." Pray for the protection and safety of Christians in Myanmar. Pray the Holy Spirit will convict the hearts of the government officials and that the testimony of believers will draw others into fellowship with Christ. Psalm 27:1, Joshua 1:9

INDIA Pastor Attacked and Church Burned in North India - VOM Sources: On September 16, Pastor Virendra and his wife, Bhawana, were attacked by Hindu extremists while on their way to a church meeting. They remain steadfast in their faith and say they will continue holding church services despite the attack. According to The Voice of the Martyrs' contacts, "The attackers intercepted the pastor's motorcycle and threw him and his wife off and began to beat them with fists, sticks and rocks. One believer who was on his way to the meeting came along the road just as one of the persecutors raised a large rock over the pastor's head, intending to smash his skull." VOM contacts added, "The believer was able to push the rock backwards, saving the pastor from death. At another point someone was ready to smash [the pastor's] head with a large stick, but his wife intercepted it and he was again saved from death. Pastor Virendra and his wife were beaten for more than 20 minutes, before they finally escaped.Praise God, Pastor Virendra and his wife were not severely wounded. Pray for God's protection for Christians in India, who continuously risk their lives for the sake of the gospel. Ask for the Holy Spirit to touch the lives of the persecutors and draw them into the knowledge of Christ. Philippians 4:8, Psalm 118:17

ERITREA Evangelist Arrested - VOM Sources: The Voice of the Martyrs recently received information that Mussie Ezaz, an evangelist in the Kale Hiwot Church of Eritrea, was arrested from his home in the capital city of Asmara, and imprisoned this past week. The evangelist has been in full-time ministry for more than a decade. Pray God encourages and provides for Ezaz and his family. Ask God to give him boldness in the midst of his suffering and that his testimony will draw non- believers into fellowship with Christ. Romans 8:31, Psalm 91

CHINA Imprisoned Pastor's Health Failing VOM Sources: On September 24, The Voice of the Martyrs received reports that Pastor Zhang Rongliang's health was failing, and if he is not released, he would die in prison. According to contacts in China, "Pastor Zhang must be carried from place to place by two men supporting him. He does not walk well on his own. He openly questions whether he can finish this sentence. If he is not released, there is a good chance that he will die in prison." Pastor Zhang still has four years remaining of the seven-and-a-half year sentence he received after his arrest in 2004. He already had previously spent 12 years in prison for his faith during five separate detentions. He experienced harsh torture, including electric shock, during his previous prison terms. Pray for Pastor Zhang's healing and for his release from prison. Pray the Holy Spirit will encourage him and that his testimony will draw nonbelievers into the knowledge of Christ. Psalm 118:17; 3 John 2

INDIA Hindu Extremists Plan Assaults in Karnataka VOM Sources: On September 22, Christians in Bangalore, Karnataka's capital, protested the growing number of Hindu extremist attacks in the state and their planned assaults on church meetings in Mysore district. According to The Voice of the Martyrs' contacts in India, Hindu extremists belonging to the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh and Bajrang Dal groups planned to launch a series of attacks against Christians in areas of Mysore district. Pray the plans of Satan will not succeed. Pray the Holy Spirit will touch the lives of the extremists and lead them into the knowledge of Christ. Psalm 27:1; 2 Timothy 1:7

UZBEKISTAN Crackdown on ChristiansForum 18 News: According to Forum 18 News, several Christians were recently arrested or fined.
On August 27, Sharofat Allamova received a suspended sentence of six months in central Bhukara. This was after police confiscated literature from her in June. Allamova was prosecuted under article 244-3 of the Criminal Code, which punishes "illegal production, storage, import or distribution of religious materials."
On August 28, Pastor Khyn-Mun Kimi and a colleague were fined about one month's salary for "illegal" religious activity in Karakalpakstan.
In an unrelated incident, a group of Protestants in the Southern region of Uzbekistan were detained after they "illegally" met for worship. Police confiscated religious literature and 12 of the believers face impending charges. Pray Christians in Uzbekistan will remain steadfast in their faith despite pressure from the government. Ask God to touch the lives of authorities in Uzbekistan. Isaiah 54:14, Psalm 91

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2007-10-05T06:24:00.000-07:00

Its Thanksgiving Weekend here in Canada. And we have A LOT to be thankful for.

A small list:

I'm thankful for my husband who brings me love & joy every single moment.

I'm thankful for my family, both near & far, that loves, encourages and supports us.

I'm very thankful for my sis-in-law's newfound faith in the Lord - it warms my heart so much!

I'm thankful that God provides for our daily needs, a roof over our head and food on our table.

I'm thankful that God provides so much more than just these two basics.

I'm thankful for Fall, the changes it brings and all that I love about it.

I'm thankful for good friends and the fun & precious times we get to spend with them.

I'm thankful for on-line friends, my CPW gals, and all my blogging friends - a life line of love & encouragement across the wires of the world wide web - enriching my life & my soul.

I'm thankful to be living in Canada where we take so many of our freedoms for granted.

I could probably list many more things but these are just a few that came to mind first. What are you thankful for today...even if its not a Thanksgiving weekend in your country?

Going to take a couple days away from the computer to spend time with family & eating a delicious turkey dinner. See you next week!

Out of the Same Mouth?

2007-10-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

"Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so." James 3:10

Guilty...as self-charged! I cringe when I hear someone talking that doesn't know how to speak a single sentence without using profanities. I cringe when I hear someone take the Lord's name in vain. And then, I especially cringe if I hear a profanity come out of my own mouth...but it happens. I don't exactly have control of my tongue at all times.

James also says "the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity" vs 6 and yes, it burns me sometimes. If I lose my patience (especially in traffic) then even if I'm in the middle of belting out a worship song in my car, my melodious praise song can instantly do an about-face to yell at the other offending driver. "These things ought not to be so."

So this is my cofession...but I'm working on it - its not as bad as it once was nor as good as it once was. A phase perhaps, but certainly not a desirable one. And so I keep reading in James, this book of so much wisdom...

"...let every man (and woman) be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" 1:19

Red-Winged Blackbirds

2007-09-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

(no photo credit for this one - I found it on a bird identification site - hopefully not violating someone's copyright)

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." James 1:17

Something amazing just happened in my backyard. My husband just came home & was getting something back there & called me to 'come quick' from inside the house. When I got outside, the sound was almost deafening. There, in the elms of our yard and our neighbour's yard were dozens of red-winged blackbirds calling & singing at their loudest. Now, a bit of history here...this particular bird call is my favourite of all birds. I love the sound of them and its one I recognize anywhere. To hear so many of them at once was spectacular. I grabbed a patio chair & just sat down in awe! At first I thought there was maybe 20 or 30 of them, then it seemed to me there was at least 50 of them flitting back & forth between the trees and over my head, making that precious sound.

Lawrence called it "A Gathering", like they were all getting together to discuss their next big move. I googled this and said that in the fall (which is now) these birds gather together in LARGE numbers searching for food & stick together.

What is somewhat odd, is that usually, the red-winged blackbird hangs out in marshy & pond areas, sometimes in fields. They like to cling to reeds & cat-tails and I know I will always hear one at Hayne's Point because there are LOTS of reeds & water grasses there for them to cling to. Maybe once in a while I might hear one pass by my yard, but dozens and dozens of them, just for a few minutes, it was truly amazing. Like they stopped by just for me.

Even the smallest things can be looked at like a gift. It was a treat. It made me happy. I was filled with awe. How can that NOT be a gift from God for me to experience?

Still reading in James, this is a verse that lots of people quote but few of us probably understand the magnitude of. EVERY good gift is from God. Not just a few of them, all of them. And the perfect gifts, like a calm sunny morning, golden fall leaves, or even a man-made delicious pie...ok, likely WOMAN-made. When they are good, they are of God, they are of heaven. Big or small!

I thank the Lord for a small bird that brings me joy with its song, I thank the Lord that a multitude of these birds made a stop in my yard to bring me awe!

Trials = Patience??

2007-09-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

"Count it all joy when you fall into various trial, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." ~James 1: 2-3

The book of James has been "In My Face" a lot for the past two weeks. My sis-in-law Kathy and I have been discussing it quite a bit as we seek patience for the things in our lives. And then again, James came up in Sunday's sermon.

I guess this is a sign for me to get serious about what James had to say. So I'll start at the start. And it is my goal to memorize these two verses.

I will memorize the above version - New King James - because that is my most used Bible - but I also like how the NIV says it "2-Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3-because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." I'd like to persever through my trials AND come out with patience! And also the version from The Message "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors."

No matter what version it comes from - we are to be grateful and HAPPY to face trials & challenges because it will strengthen us if we can have patience, perseverance & faith!

When you're waiting for something, when things aren't going your way or when you are feeling like your are going through something with no end in sight, we start praying to God to speed things up. Time goes so slow, almost backwards, while we wait on Him to solve whatever it is we are waiting for, experiencing or facing! It can be hard to look beyond our own time frames & look to God's.

We might think that we have plenty of patience & that, OK God, you proved your point - here I am being patient - when really, He's only just begun this little life lesson of testing. Some of us Falter, Fume or Forget! All the wrong f-words for those of us who should be Focusing on FAITH. Faith that God's timing is better than our own. Faith that we are growing because of this. Faith that we can lean on Him when we are waiting! And Faith that all of these things are drawing us nearer to Him...which is the ultimate goal. So, despite of our impatience, when the trials come, we really SHOULD embrace them joyfully, like a gift that, though it may be hard, we are going to come out of it stronger & closer to God!

I can't say I'm excited about my trials or impatience, but I'm certain that God is with me while I wait on His time & that my faith can grow stronger as I look to him for the end of the test.

Smiles

2007-09-19T22:16:00.001-07:00

My blogging friend SunnySusan has awarded me with this "You Make Me Smile Award"

This is what the person that created this award says about it- "the thing that I love most about blogging is that I learn so much about a person just by reading their blog. I have met MANY wonderful people with wonderful stories to tell,and I am grateful every day for each person that I have the pleasure of crossing paths in life with. I wanted to create something special for the people who have inspired me through their blogging; the stories they tell, and the lives that they lead with grace and dignity. I visit their blogs for inspiration and encouragement. Although there are MANY people I want to give this award to at this very moment, I am going to choose a couple bloggers:Please grab your badge and wear it(with a smile) proudly, and pass it on because you inspire and encourage me, thank you."

Although I haven't been blogging or even commenting much lately, I have been thankful to read many of your blogs & continue to enjoy them in my blogging absence.

So, now it is my turn to pass it on this award:

Almost all of your blogs make me smile on a daily basis, but these ones get my special award for today :)

LGS at Realm of the Lone Grey Squirrel - usually your blogs crack me up, other times they are serious and almost always informative and an interesting cultural look at Malaysia. I appreciate your blog!

Barb at I Am Mrs. Miles - I always learn & see things that make me smile on your blog

Amrita at Yesu's Garden - I so enjoy coming to your blog & learning about your culture, especially the things you are cooking. And your faith & compassion for your fellow man is so inspiring!

Karla at Looking Towards Heaven - I get giggles almost every time I read your blog about your family life and the antics of you and your kids. Thanks for sharing this glimpse into your world of smiles.

Voice of the Martyrs Update

2007-09-19T16:08:00.000-07:00

When these updates come in, it always makes the woes & small problems of my own life seem small & meaningless. Praise God that I can live in Canada and don't have to face these kinds of things that many of our brethren are facing all over the world!

"Remember the prisoners as if chained with them and those who are mistreated, since you yourselves are in the body also." Hebrews 13:3

SOUTH KOREA UPDATE: Korean Hostages Told Convert to Islam or Die -“ British Broadcasting Corporation On September 12, South Korean Christian aid workers held hostage by the Taliban in Afghanistan for six weeks, reported being beaten and ordered at gun point to convert to Islam, according to the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC). According to the BBC, the former hostages told a press conference they were made to work like slaves while in captivity. Jae Chang-hee told reporters, "We were beaten with a tree branch or kicked around. Some kidnappers threatened us with death at gunpoint to force us to follow them in chanting their Islamic prayer for conversion. I was beaten many times. They pointed a rifle and bayonet at me and tried to force me to convert." Jae Chang-hee added, "We lived like slaves. We had to level the ground for motorbikes, and get water and make a fire." BBC reported that Yu Jung-hwa said she thought she was going to die. "The most difficult moment, when I had a big fear of death, was when the Taliban shot a video. All 23 of us leaned against a wall and armed Taliban aimed their guns at us, and a pit was before me. They said they will save us if we believe in Islam. I almost fainted at the time and I still cannot look at cameras." Recalling how Pastor Bae Hyung-kyu was led away to his death, the BBC said Han Ji-young, in tears, added, "Bae didn't even look at us when he was leaving the room. He only said, 'Overcome with faith.'" Continue praying for God to touch the lives of these believers as they deal with their experience in Afghanistan. Pray God comforts the families of the two that were killed. Pray the testimony of these Christians will draw non-believers into fellowship with Him. Deuteronomy 28, Psalm 91

INDIA Christians Beaten by Militants in India “ VOM Sources
BANGALORE: On September 8, Pastor Angam Haokip was attacked by more than 30 men in the village of Geddalahalli, Bangalore. According to The Voice of the Martyrs' contacts in India, the men forced Pastor Haokip to stop his vehicle. VOM contacts reported, "They asked him if he was a pastor and when he said 'yes,' they pulled him out of his car. The men accused him of 'ruining' the nation and beat him in front of several witnesses. They tried to crush his legs with boulders and also kicked him in the neck." The pastor sustained severe injuries to his back and chest and his car was destroyed. When he tried to file a complaint with local police, it was rejected because the police said a complaint had been registered against him for negligent driving.

HYDERABAD: On September 9, Pastor Sudhakar and four Christians visiting from Singapore were attacked by members of Hindu militant groups while leading a worship service at Bethel Gospel Church in Amberpet, Hyderabad. According to, a report from the All India Christian Council, approximately 300 believers were gathered when the militants forcibly entered the church building and began to shout obscenities against Christianity. The intruders assaulted Pastor Sudhakar with a rod. Prior to the attack, the militants had filed a complaint with local police alleging the pastor and the Singapore team were involved in forcible conversion.Pray for healing for those injured in the attacks. Ask God to bless the ministry of these pastors and other Christians who are spreading the gospel in India. Pray God touches the lives of the persecutors and leads them to faith in Christ. Romans 8:11, Isaiah 40:31

CHINA UPDATE: House Church Leader Released from Prison “ China Aid Association On September 10, prominent Beijing house church leader, Pastor Cai Zhuohua, was released after three years in prison. According to The Voice of the Martyrs' contacts, "Cai was in good spirits when he was released. Cai was not allowed to read or have a Bible for the past three years. Since his release, he has been picked by the Public Security Bureau (PSB) and taken to their office. He has to report to the PSB office once a month and has been warned not to speak out or attend church services." Praise God that Pastor Cai has been reunited with his family. Pray God gives him and other believers in China courage to continually live for Christ, despite the immense challenges they face. Pray their testimonies will draw non-believers, even PSB officers, into the knowledge of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 1:7, Psalm 27:1

AZERBAIJAN Imprisoned Pastor's Appeal Resumes - Forum 18 News-UPDATE: On September 6, the lawyer for imprisoned Baptist Pastor Zaur Balaev expressed optimism as the appeals process began in Sheki Appeal Court in Azerbaijan. According to Forum 18 News service, Gazalfar Rzaev said, "Of course I am optimistic." Illya Zenchenko, head of Azerbaijan's Baptist Union, was also hopeful Balaev's two-year sentence, on charges he assaulted five police officers, would be overturned. However, Zenchenko does fear Balaev might not be fully exonerated. He told Forum 18 News, "This is a dilemma for the court. Clearing Balaev would mean incriminating the police officers who falsely testified against him." On August 8, Balaev was convicted under Article 315, Part 1 of the Criminal Code, which punishes the application or threat of application of violence against a state representative when he or she is carrying out official duties. Balaev was sentenced to two years in prison. Pray for Pastor Balaev and his family while he is in prison awaiting the outcome of his appeal. Ask God to encourage believers in Azerbaijan. Isaiah 54:7, 2 Timothy 1:7

CHINA House Church Leader in Xinjiang Formally Arrested, Church Leaders Released - China Aid Association
XINJIANG - On August 31, house church leader Zhou Heng was formally arrested for receiving three tons of Bibles. He is currently detained at Xishan Detention Center. According to China Aid Association (CAA), Zhou Heng's formal arrest notice accused him of "illegal business operations." CAA reported, "Our contacts recently spoke with a released inmate who shared a cell with Brother Zhou. He reported that Zhou was severely beaten by inmates and prison guards." Prior to his arrest on August 3, Zhou Heng managed a bookstore called Yayi Christian Book Room and sold religious books. "Local authorities have closed the bookstore. The Bibles Zhou was collecting were reportedly donated by South Korean churches and were intended for distribution to local believers free of charge. However, the Chinese government only allows officially sanctioned (state) churches to print and distribute a limited number of Bibles each year," CAA added.

INNER MONGOLIA: UPDATE - China Aid Association reported that authorities have released the seven house church leaders arrested on August 21. The Christian leaders were arrested during worship services. Praise God for the release of these Christian leaders. Pray for house church leader Zhou Heng and Christians in China who face challenges because of their faith in Jesus Christ. Psalm 27:1, Isaiah 54: 14

ERITREA Christian Tortured to Death in Eritrea - Compass Direct News/Open DoorsOn September 5, Eritrean authorities tortured to death 33-year-old Nigsti Haile for refusing to recant her Christian faith while being held at the Wi'a Military Training Center. Haile is the fourth Christian killed in Eritrea in less than a year. Compass Direct News reported, "She was one of 10 single Christian women arrested at a church gathering in Keren. They have spent 18 months under severe pressure. Haile was killed for refusing to sign a letter recanting her faith." In May 2002, government officials called in the leaders of all evangelical churches in Eritrea and told them they would not be permitted to hold further public services. Only the "historic religions" of Catholic, Orthodox, Lutheran and Islam have been allowed to hold public worship since that time. Compass Direct says that more than 2,000 Eritrean Christians are imprisoned. Not a single one of them has been formally charged or had a public trial, and all have been denied legal representation. Amnesty International released a report yesterday that said most of the more than 2,000 imprisoned Christians have been held for more than two years in harsh conditions, with little or no medical care. Pray for the Holy Spirit to comfort the family of Nigsti Haile. Ask God to protect and encourage Christians in Eritrea, especially believers imprisoned because of their faith in Jesus Christ. Philippians 4:6-7, 2 Corinthians 10: 5-6

Been So Busy

2007-09-17T06:41:00.000-07:00

Rocky Mountain town of Field, in BC

I have been away and I have been busy! What a busy week it has been! Thank you for your patience & faithfulness & comments. I appreciate both.

First of all, I had a quick & fun road trip on my own this week. I took off on Tuesday morning to Calgary for a couple days to visit my sister-in-law. It was the perfect time of year to go (before the unpredictable Alberta winters start) and the roads were beautiful. My hubby wasn't able to come so I made the trip alone & thoroughly enjoyed the drive. Stopped often to take photos of course and I will post more of those in the future I'm sure.

My sis & I had a great visit and my heart left Calgary very happy for her! I stayed in a beautiful Bed & Breakfast along Calgary's Fish Creek Park and spent some nice time hiking & exploring in the park. It was truly Fall already there, lots of beautiful leaves & a great crisp Fall smell in the air!

The weekend too was very busy. Barely had time to get home before we were off on another adventure. Some visiting photographers were in town this past week and busy doing photo outings. We joined them on Saturday morning to do the historical Mascot Mine tour in Hedley, BC. I have several photos of this fantastic mine that was built into the side of a cliff about a mile above sea level. It was a great tour and we loved the history of it...but oh the stairs. 589 of them, down and back up again! The ol' calves are a little tense now! But we did it and it was a very enjoyable & full day!

Sunday too, mom & dad came up and the 4 of us drove out to the Rock Creek Fall Fair. It was great as far as country fairs go. We watched lots of barrel racing, ate great greasy fair food, saw all the exhibits & Lawrence even won me a little stuffed pony throwing darts at balloons! A fun time was had by all!

So, now its back to Monday. I have dozens of photos to process and an article to write & appointments to make. Lots filling my mind already this Monday morning but I wanted to come in & say hello and share a few quick photos so you know I haven't forgotten you or your blogs.

Have a great week!!

Professing to be wise

2007-09-09T09:01:00.000-07:00

"Professing to be wise, they became fools" Romans 1:22

Have you ever heard the saying "It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt."? (I think Mark Twain said this one) Unfortunately, I think we all have this fault now & then. Some may call it verbal diarhea, word vomit, foot-in-mouth etc. But sometimes we just say things that really make us look STUPID!

And sometimes we just can't help it. Sort of like embellishing the truth, or telling a great tale. When the response is so good, why can't we stop there? Some of you can, sometimes, I can't. And so I keep talking, maybe make up a part or two to make it more interesting. Hey, perhaps its my creative side. It would have been better if it happened that way... or something like that. But if you exaggerate too much, often you end up getting caught in your 'embellished truth' and the story listener may think 'foul'.

But how much worse is it when Christians appear stupid. Some of us can go on & on, spouting how great & godly we think we are. Verbalizing our wisdom & holier-than-thou perfection but the careful (and sometimes not so careful) observer can see right through us. Wisdom in one's own eyes is just that - you only appear wise to yourself but the big giant FOOL to everyone else who is seeing you say one thing and do another. Or if you aren't following through with what you say, you are also ruining precious words. Words that should be filled with love and TRUTH, not embellished with honey but stinking of mold! So if we sugar coat something to make it smell sweet, but the actions are foul, it is the rotteness that the world will see and we will be fools!

Speak truth! Follow through! Don't embellish. Love only!

Allergies :(

2007-09-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

I'm really getting tired of this whole allergy season. Itchy eyes, runny nose and if it stops running -->congestion. I don't think I've had a good nights sleep in weeks. I finally started using those Breathe Right nasal strips & I love them. They really help. But still, I sit here at my computer this morning, scratching my eyeballs & filling the trash with tissues. Anti-histamines make me thirsty but I think I'd rather guzzle water than blow my nose one more time (or 50 more times)

Anybody else suffer seasonal / non-seasonal allergies? Any tips? Besides moving to the Arctic!

How AWESOME is heaven going to be without sickness or diseases!! Really! Can you imagine any ache, pain, blemish, hic-cup that you have now will be non-existant in Heaven! I can't wait. I'm reading on with Randy Alcorn's book "Heaven" and am so enjoying all his perspectives on what Heaven and The New Earth will be like. Totally anticipating how amazing the new earth can be! I wonder if I can ride a quad then too? I hope so!!

I want to thank everyone who commented on "The Story of Quadette". Lawrence says thank you to everyone who complimented his skills & thoughtfulness.

Korina - its amazing what a little paint will do eh!

Janice - I'm not a huge fan of surprises either - no wonder he has to be so sneaky at it.

Susan - I love jeeps too. I'm sure the boys will have fun suping it up!

Carol-Ann - yes, it still makes me smile too. Can't wait to ride it again.

Gina - thanks for the compliment - I wish the same for all women!

Sharon - I knew you'd approve!! Yes its loud and the neighbours have been very patient while he built it - constant revving in the backyard etc - but they think it looks pretty cool & I think they enjoyed watching the process too.

Thanks Dave - it WILL be a good season!

LGS, yes, it is his goal to always make other husbands look bad. :) I'm lucky for that!!

Amrita - I try to coordinate. Ha ha

Laurie - you ought to try it too!!

Ed - maybe we can drag them together before I become a racing machine!

The Story of Quadette

2007-09-05T12:50:00.000-07:00

As promised - the story of how my quad came to be...

My husband is an avid dirt biker and, while he wants me to learn to ride dirtbikes, we figured 4 wheels would be easier for me to start on than 2. About a year ago, we went to visit his folks in northern Alberta. They have a couple quads and a nice BIG property, so I got to take my first ride on a quad. It was a blast & I loved it. So Lawrence was excited to know how much I enjoyed it & vowed to get me one, one day. I told him we couldn't buy a quad until we had our own 'dirt', ie, our own home, because we were renting at the time. Well, lo & behold, we came home from Alberta to a notice from our landlord saying he had sold the house & we had 2 months to get out. So, we took the plunge & bought a house instead of sinking our funds into rent each month. And of course, that got Lawrence thinking about what I had said...

Some time after Christmas, Lawrence's dad called up with an offer. A quad for sale REAL cheap because it had been beside a shed that burnt down. All the plastic was melted off & needed new wiring but the frame, tires & motor were in great condition. So he agreed...without telling me of course. This is what the quad looked like...at that time!

In March, the whole Wolfe family got together in Calgary for a family visit! Unbeknownst to me, dad was bringing the quad down for Lawrence. I couldn't figure out why on earth Lawrence wanted to drive the work van all the way to Calgary when we have a perfectly wonderful DIESEL car that would have been so much more efficient. We even argued about it because he didn't want to ruin the surprise. Luckily, I gave in & we took the work van!

My sister in law distracted me in our hotel rooms while THIS was going on outside in the parking lot...

All the boys helped load it into the van while I was being distracted. When we finally came downstairs, Lawrence handed me this pretty little gift bag & said it was an early birthday present.
Inside the gift bag was this toy quad. He said, that he knew I wanted one so now I was getting one. The whole family was watching. At first I didn't get it, and then I started freaking out that he might have bought me a quad cuz we so didn't have the money for a quad (or at least that's what I thought)So they whipped open the van doors and there was this THING in there with birthday bows on it & everybody was staring at me & waiting for my reaction...

And I sort of stood there looking at it thinking 'what the heck is that burnt piece of crap? and why does it have bows on it?' My biggest fear of taking the van was that Lawrence would fill it with junk to bring home. And I was looking at it with uncertainty, wondering if my fear was coming true!

It took a minute for me to catch on that it was a quad and that Lawrence was determined to fix it up for me. Mom Wolfe was so worried that I would freak out or be worried that it would be a never-ending project. But, I trusted my husband. Though he has a lot of projects always on the go, I knew that this one would be special and that he WOULD complete it because it was for me. So then, I was happy about the gift & looking forward to it.

Lawrence & I went out shopping to a big atv/motorsports shop in Calgary later that day & got me (and himself) new riding jerseys. Fox is finally bringing out NICE girl style stuff and I was in love with one that was camoflage & HOT PINK!!

And that became the inspiration for the quad colors that I chose. I wanted it to be girly but 'bad' looking at the same time. So slowly but surely, the project started to take shape. Thanks in particular to E-bay for us to be able to get a TONNE of used parts relatively cheap. He found me a whole set of plastic for a great deal. We just had to clean it up & pull off all the old labels.

Lawrence sanded & painted every single part on her. She was stripped down to nothing. Even the frame & muffler were repainted a shiny black.
We have a friend that is an autobody guy, so he came with his spray gun & painted more parts for me. Lots of accesorizing parts were in metallic pink...
And the inside of the rims were a vibrant metallic green

She was slowly starting to take shape, motor back to gether, wiring hooked up and hubby going for test runs around the backyard & up the driveway.

On our last trip down through Washington, we found another Honda shop that carried lots of different things that we hadn't been able to find in Canada. Including awesome helmets for girls. This is a fox brand to match my jersey with hot pink of course to match the quad. Our friend Jeff came one more time and painted all the plastic for us. Most of it was the metallic green and a couple parts were the pink. So Lawrence started to put it together.

And here she is in all her put-together glory. We even have a small mirror on the front (it covers a hole) but its very appropriate for a girl quad. Can check & see if I have dirt on my face after a good ride. LOL

And so, after a few photos in my gear, posing on her, it was time for me to try her out!

Lawrence took me, my quad & his dirtbike up one of the hills behind us and unloaded it for me. I was so chicken. I think lawnmowers go faster. I'd go & stop & go & stop. It took a while to get the hang of it. There was a good open spot to try but I had to go DOWN a steep hill first. That was scary, I went soooo slow because the dust was several inches deep (its very dry up there) and kept pulling me into the ditch. Anyways, I made it and then I started tearing around, getting braver & going faster, even up & down a few dusty hills. It was great fun & I had a blast. I can't wait to go again. Hopefully we'll get a bit of rain so it won't be such thick choking dust up there.

And that, my friends, is the story of Quadette. The Labour of Love project by my wonderful husband so that we can enjoy hours & hours of fun together up in the mountains that I love so much!

She's Ready

2007-09-03T16:36:00.000-07:00

After 5 months, this Labour of Love project by my husband is complete.

Meet Quadette - the baddest looking girl quad in town.

We're about to take her for my inaugral ride. Will post more details on this project story tomorrow!!

Butterflies

2007-08-31T13:01:00.001-07:00

"Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad; let the sea roar, and all its fullness. Let the field be joyful, and all that is in it. Then all the trees of the woods will rejoice before the Lord." Psalm 96:11-12

I went for a ride with my husband on Thursday. He had to go finish up a job in a town about an hour + from here & I love to go for the ride. I took my camera & went walking for a bit while he was working. I was hoping to get down by the creek that was near there, find a shady spot to rest out of the sun and hopefully a scenic spot for a few photos. I couldn't seem to find my way to the creek because it was all private properties. And it was HOT so I wanted to get out of the sun. As I was walking near the back of a school field, still trying to find the creek, I noticed this field of purple thistles and a few other flowers. It was in the shade and sun and there were all sorts of butterflies flitting around.

I have never photographed butterflies before and wasn't sure if I had the right sort of lense to do so. Also, the grass was long & deep and well, I didn't know if I should be stepping in it because there were many types of bees & bugs there too. And my imagination was thinking of mice or snakes. So I took a few photos from the edge of the field but the best flowers were a bit more inside. One step, two steps - nothing attacked my feet. So I stood in the midst of these thistle flowers while the butterflies & bees buzzed & flitted around me and the time passed while I happily snapped away. So thankful for each moment that they came close & posed for my camera. Thankful for the beauty I was witness to.

It was such a beautiful small peaceful place. When I found this verse about the 'field being joyful and all that is in it" I immediately thought of the moments I was standing there in that field. I just imagine that all God's creature have joy & thankfulness. These fluttering insects, as they sip from the flowers nectar, thankful for another sunny day & thankful for the provision of nourishment & beauty! He has created such an amazing place for us on Earth! I can only imagine how much more amazing the New Earth is going to be where we get to live for ever. I think the beauty we see now is just a glimpse of how wonderful it will be!

My Friends

2007-08-29T09:21:00.000-07:00

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you" Phil 1:3

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you guys are really special to me. You don't know how much your comments encourage me and how much your blogs uplift me! I've been having a bit of a blah week and have had a hard time feeling motivated to blog for the last little bit. Not because of the blah week, but because I've been doing a lot of other writing and feel like I had nothing left over to say in my blog some days. I was uninspired. But I kept reading your blogs & felt so uplifted when my mood was low & my faith was weak! So I thank you, I thank you for encouraging me & inspiring me.

My faith has been waning a bit this week, asking & waiting on things. God is always faithful though. Its easy not to see the forest for the trees. We have forests of blessings but when one or two trees fall, it can feel like the whole forest is falling in on us, when in reality, its just making room for new growth. We just have to give those seedlings of blessings a chance. So that's what I'm doing today. Seeing the seedlings & giving them a chance to grow!

Do Not Fret

2007-08-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way...those who wait on the Lord, they shall inherit the earth." Psalm 37: 5, 7, 9

Its easy to start fretting when things aren't going our way, when things aren't quite like we expected them to be, or when you see someone else having/doing what we want. Its easy to forget that God is in control. Its hard to be patient. Its hard to trust. Its hard not to fret!

Its times like these that we need to take a moment & remember that God is indeed in control and that we have to trust that our lives are in His hands!

Voice of the Martyrs Updates

2007-08-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

"But the LORD said to Samuel, 'Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'"(1 Samuel 16:7)

Prayers for August 21, 2007From The Voice of the Martyrs

PAKISTAN Religious Minorities Told to Convert or Die - VOM Sources:Christians in northern Pakistan have been receiving letters threatening them with death if they refuse to become Muslims. The Voice of the Martyrs' contacts in Pakistan report Peshawar's minorities are living in fear after receiving dozens of letters mailed to them in August. VOM contacts report, "There have been numerous threats sent to Peshawar's Kohati area. The letters say if we don't become Muslim we will be killed." Praise God it has only been threats so far. Pray God protects Christians in the area. Pray the testimony of believers in Pakistan will draw nonbelievers into fellowship with Jesus Christ. Psalm 27:1, Romans 8:31

CUBA Authorities Threaten Pastors with Imprisonment - VOM Sources:In May, secret police in Cuba threatened four pastors with 25 to 50 years in prison if they continued receiving financial assistance from international ministries around the world. The pastors were forced to sign documents renouncing the help. The Voice of the Martyrs' contacts in Cuba report, "The secret police told them (pastors) that if they did not give up the financial help, they would be considered anti-revolutionary and conspirators against the government. As a result, the pastors are afraid and have not accepted help." Pray for pastors in Cuba as they share the gospel of Jesus Christ while facing difficult conditions. Ask God to provide for the four pastors and their families, and that their lives will be a testimony to nonbelievers. PPsalm 68:19, 3 John 2

LAOS Released Laotian Pastors Express Gratitude - VOM Sources:On August 14, The Voice of the Martyrs received a letter from Laotian Pastor Khamphuy, who was released from prison in May. Pastor Khamphuy wrote, "As one of 12 prisoners released in May, all of us want to express our appreciation for your prayers and support while we were in prison. Our wives told us that you sent help to our families and bought food and medicines for us. Thank you for sustaining our families while we were in prison." Pastor Khamphuy and 11 other pastors were arrested after attending a Christian meeting on November 21, 2006. After the release of nine in May, three pastors still remain imprisoned. Khamphuy added, "Please continue to pray for Pastors Amkha, Bua and Van Thong and their families." The Voice of the Martyrs encourages you to continue praying for the pastors in prison. Pray they will love their persecutors and have opportunities to share the love of Jesus with them. Also, pray for God's protection for the released pastors and their families, as they continue preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. Philippians 4:8, 1 Corinthians 15:57

CHINA Imprisoned Elderly House Church Member's Health Worsens - China Aid Association:UPDATE: On August 17, The Voice of the Martyrs received information that imprisoned 76-year-old Shuang Shuying is seriously ill, and her family is seeking her immediate release on medical parole. According to China Aid Association (CAA), a letter from Shuying's daughter-in-law, Wei Jumei, reports that on a recent visit the family found Shuying in poor health. Jumei's letter said, "When my family and I visited her, my mother-in-law was extremely sick. Her hands were trembling and she looked pale. Just a few hours of sleep a day has seriously damaged her health. Prior to her imprisonment she weighed 121 pounds, but now weighs 88 pounds. The verbal abuse she gets from fellow inmates and the psychological pressure she is subjected to, have made her miserable. We appeal for her immediate release on medical parole." Pray for the healing and release of Shuang Shuying. Ask God to protect Christians in China. Psalm 118:17, Isaiah 40:31

AFGHANISTAN VOM Calls for Continued Prayer for Kidnapped South Korean Christians: UPDATE: On August 13, two of the 23 South Koreans kidnapped by the Taliban in mid-July, were freed in rural Afghanistan. According to media reports, the two women were handed over to international Red Cross officials. The Voice of the Martyrs is calling on believers around the world to continue praying for the protection and release of the 19 remaining Korean aid workers still being held by the Taliban. Please also remember the families of the two men in the group who were killed previously. Ask that the Holy Spirit convict the hearts of the Taliban and the testimony of these believers draws others into fellowship with Christ. Psalm 91, Joshua 1:9

AZERBAIJAN Two-Year Imprisonment for Baptist Pastor “ Forum 18 News: UPDATE: On August 8, Baptist Pastor Zaur Balaev was sentenced to two years in prison by a court in the Northwestern Regional Center of Zakatala, Azerbaijan. According to Forum 18 News Service, Balaev was convicted of using violence against a state representative. He was accused of holding "illegal meetings under the guise of religious activity without concrete authority and registration." Forum 18 News reported, "He also was accused of attracting young people to worship services and playing loud music at services. Azerbaijan's authorities have changed their accusations since Balaev has been held. Police initially claimed Balaev set a dog on police during a raid on a Sunday worship service. After more than 50 people signed a written statement testifying to Balaev's innocence, the references to the dog disappeared from the authorities' claims. Instead, Balaev was accused of attacking five policemen and damaging a police car door." He was convicted under Article 315, Part 1 of the Criminal Code, which punishes the application of or threat of application of violence, including to a state representative when he or she is carrying out official duties. It carries a maximum sentence of three years. Pray for Pastor Balaev and his family while he is in prison. Ask God to encourage believers in Azerbaijan and for the Holy Spirit to convict the authorities that brought these charges. Psalm 27:1, Isaiah 54:17

PAKISTAN Christians Experiencing Hardship After Red Mosque Attack, Christian Attacked“ VOM Sources:The Voice of the Martyrs has received information that Christians are experiencing increased hardships after the attacks at the Red Mosque last month. In an unrelated incident in July, a VOM contact, who is a Muslim convert; was attacked by three strangers while he was sleeping in a hotel room. Attackers tried to kill him, but God saved his life. He sustained some wounds to his body and they are healing. Pray this believer is protected from future attacks. Ask God to protect believers in Pakistan as they continue sharing the gospel, despite immense challenges. 1 Corinthians 15:57

INDIA Pastor Threatened; Pastor and Wife Assaulted, Imprisoned and Later Released “ VOM Sources:
KASHMIR “ On July 29, five men from the Molvis Al-Hadis Mosque in Baramulla threatened Pastor Bashir Masih, and other believers preparing for Sunday worship. According to The Voice of the Martyrs' contacts in India, "The five men threatened the believers and instructed them to vacate the house, which is also used as a house church, within a month since it is located near a mosque." In the past, Muslim extremists have assaulted Pastor Masih's disabled son and Muslim village authorities have allowed extremists to block drinking water to Pastor Masih's home. Pastor Masih was a Muslim who converted to Christianity in 2005. His house church, Shalom Prayer House, was started in 2005. Pray for Pastor Masih's family and Christians in India who remain steadfast in their faith, despite persecution. Hebrews 13:5-6

KARTANAKA “ August 10, Pastor Victor and his wife Glory were released after spending a month in prison. On July 9, the couple was assaulted by a Hindu extremist while they were distributing tracts in the Bijapur District, Karnataka. They were later arrested. According to The Voice of the Martyrs' contacts in India, a grocery store owner invited the pastor and his wife to his home and while they were talking, a man entered the home and attacked them. VOM contacts report, "When the man entered the home, he saw gospel tracts and began cursing at the pastor and slapped him. The grocery owner joined the assault and dragged the pastor out of the home and put him on a rickshaw and took him to the police. The Hindu extremist registered a complaint against the couple for inciting religious disharmony." The couple was arrested under section 296 A of the Indian Penal Code. Pray for Pastor Victor and his family and ask God to protect Christians in India. 2 Timothy 1:7