"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hop. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you." ~ Jeremiah 29:11-14
Its a dull cloudy breezey morning here. The sort of morning where I want to stay curled up, coffee in hand & blanket around me. Quietness & thoughtfulness filling the space in my head. Of course, with a busy toddler, quietness usually goes out the window, as well as sitting still. But now, as he naps, I have that quiet peace, that time of thoughtfulness and its my time with God.
I've sure been asking God a LOT of questions lately. And listening for His voice. I know He's speaking, but I can't hear it. I seek His directions, His answers, His peace... but it feels so far away. We seem to be going through a lot of valleys lately, and I feel like we're down here alone. In my heart, I know we're not, but its so quiet, not the kind of quiet I want.
I've asked God to SHOUT at us, if we aren't hearing His quiet voice. I've asked God to speak to us, even give us hints at his direction and I keep coming back without any answers, any hints.
I guess that could mean his answer is "just sit tight" for now, on all the issues we're questioning him about, but it feels tough living in limbo. Its hard not to want to take charge, and we've tried that, time & time again, but yet, we're still here, still waiting for Him to show us the way. Waiting on WHERE. Waiting on WHY. Waiting on WHEN. and so much more.
Some days it feels like the valley is just getting deeper, and the blue sky up above is turning cloudy. We know there is sunshine up above those clouds, somewhere higher up on the hill, and we're longing for Him to lift us up onto the higher rocks & ridges, and just give us a glimpse of what He has in store for us, an idea that we might be going in the right direction, and not just circling the bottom.
I know His plans are better than whatever it is we think we're waiting on... and I know there is much joy, happiness & peace in the moments of each day, in the smiling face of a bouncy toddler, in the calm peaceful breeze of a cloudy morning such as today.
So I wait. I pray! I try to keep having faith that He is planning to give us a future and a hope.