I love being a 'stay at home mom'. There is fun & joy & creativity & laughter in so many minutes of the day!
But in the quiet moments where I have a few minutes to be alone with my thoughts, I feel lost. Like I want to be doing something, something good, something helpful, something for others, something for God!
In between the giggles & the diaper changes, the laundry & the dishes, the bookkeeping and the meal cooking, I'm amazed that there is some time left for me to even wonder this. But here I sit, my Bible open before me, time on my hand and wondering where I can fit in this world to do something good with the few minutes I have.
Oh sure, there is always another load of laundry I could do, invoices to be entered or just extra time for quiet meditation, but I think I'm longing for a new purpose.
Sometimes I think it could just be loneliness in these quiet moments. Husband is at work, baby is sleeping & friends are unavailable. Yes, I definitely get lonely but I don't think having a coffee visit with a friend would fill this need. (although I'd certainly take those opportunities as well)
I have a need to be creative, a need to be useful. I'm sure we all do. But there's more to it. How can I be creatively useful to God? How can I help others in need from here at my kitchen table?
Here I am, Lord! Use me!
In between the giggles & the diaper changes, the laundry & the dishes, the bookkeeping and the meal cooking, I'm amazed that there is some time left for me to even wonder this. But here I sit, my Bible open before me, time on my hand and wondering where I can fit in this world to do something good with the few minutes I have.
Oh sure, there is always another load of laundry I could do, invoices to be entered or just extra time for quiet meditation, but I think I'm longing for a new purpose.
Sometimes I think it could just be loneliness in these quiet moments. Husband is at work, baby is sleeping & friends are unavailable. Yes, I definitely get lonely but I don't think having a coffee visit with a friend would fill this need. (although I'd certainly take those opportunities as well)
I have a need to be creative, a need to be useful. I'm sure we all do. But there's more to it. How can I be creatively useful to God? How can I help others in need from here at my kitchen table?
Here I am, Lord! Use me!
I kinda know how you feel. I have been off work since November. Not sure what God is quite doing with me. I think I am being redirected by the hand of God. I have been quite burned out on nursing. I got so exhausted with my last nursing job I had to quit. That was in November. And every door to nursing has been shut in my face right now. I am going to start selling Premire Jewerly in a couple of weeks. It is a christian based jewerly company. I feel God had opened a door for me to do this. I think I am going to like it. It will allow me to make my own scehdule. Not sure if I am suppose to be in nursing right now. I have done it the past 13 years. It is all I have known. So I am in this place of transition. I have had a two medical procedure's done while I have the time off. Which I am glad I could have these two surgies right now. And I do get lonley at times here. And it is a little hard right now because I can't walk. It has been a time of trail and testing for me. But I think God is up to something. And I just have to trust that whatever He has for me is His will. Even if it means giving up nursing for a while. And this is when I felt God telling me to start blogging again. I started back in December.
ReplyDeleteI think God is using you in your writing to be creative. I love to write also. You are a very good writier. So be encouraged that God is working regardless of how you feel.
Everything on earth has its own time and its own season. Ecclesiates 3:1 I like that scripture.
Your the picture of your son painting.
Janice
Oh I menat to say on my last comment that I like the picture of your son painting. Very Cute! He looks very creative in the picture.
ReplyDeleteGood to have you back on the blogosphere. Congrats on coping with being a stay at home mom. If you ask God, He will definitely reveal the path to go.
ReplyDeleteHe is using you - have no doubt about that - maybe you just don't know how yet. :)
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