"Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God." Psalm 42:11
It is no secret that I dislike January. Every year I feel restless & start to question everything. I get cabin-fever, Vitamin D deficient missing the sunshine, discontent longing for spring and just generally BLUE.
Yesterday was no exception. I feel like I woke on the wrong side of the bed and could not find a way to make the day better. I was an impatient parent, a grumpy wife and stayed sour within my head all day long. I felt cooped up, sad, lonely, bored, miserable. I'm longing for Spring in the south and dreading the long cold winter of the north.
I know I get this way every January. Its when we think we need to make new life plans, or start talking about travelling to some place warm. We spend a lot of time evaluating things, wondering why we are where we are in all aspects of life.
I woke this morning praying that today would be a better day. I'm not feeling it yet. I'm playing worship music over & over in hopes to inspire an attitude change. I'm paging through the Psalms, hoping to read that one verse that will transform my heart. There are many uplifting verses in Psalms, I see them, I read them... but today I do not feel them. I continue to read, to pray, to meditate... I know that He is right beside me, despite my mood, probably with His arms around me speaking comfort into my deaf ears.
Open my ears, Lord, that I may receive your comfort. Change my heart that I may receive Your joy and peace.