Lazy Blogging :)

A strange thing happens when your computer dies... You find new and easier ways to keep the status quo!

My laptop croaked on the weekend and I was lamenting it's death and wondering how I could continue to blog. My friend Barb came for a lovely visit today and "showed me the way"!! Hello iPhone blogging!!

So as I type this I am comfortably laying in my bed all cozy and feeling oh-so lazy.
I will get back to posting a more thoughtful post soon but just had to try out this comfy new style of blogging before I force myself to sit up and pull out my Bible!!

In the meantime here's a quick snapshot of the joy of my heart riding his bike this morning.

Wishing you all cozy lazy ways to blog. Goodnight.


- Posted by Becky using BlogPress from my iPhone

Greater

"He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4

I'm still reading This Present Darkness this week, as time allows. And I think it has been a very good way to start my year. Not only has it got me thinking about prayer constantly, but it really has made me aware of the spiritual battle that is constantly going on around us.

And while its not a new concept to me, I'm really starting to discover how OFTEN in the Bible we are told to be aware of it, to pray for intercession and reminded that we have the power & authority to do something about it and be involved.

While I've spent many moments in dark days of the past clinging to verses about God's protection on me, I seem to skip over the verses about the enemy's hold & dominion on this world and how we are to be fighting against it.

I'm reminding, reading this book, that God has given us the Holy Spirit so that we have the authority WITHIN us, far greater that we often realize to rebuke, withstand, cast out, resist the evils of this world.

Day by day I'm going to be trying to find these verses and learn them to remind myself that we are not only gifted with this great authority & power, but that we are asked to use it wisely. This will go hand in hand with my desire for prayer this year as I learn to pray in ways we are asked to do so.

Prayer - 2010

I read on another blog today (CraftTeaLady here) about having a 'word of the year' (as detailed here) A word that you can focus on for the year, reflect on and impress on your daily life. I wondered what my word would be, given the stuff I've been thinking about in the first few days of this year, and the thoughts I've had these past few days. No other word would come to my mind except "prayer". 2010 is my year to learn to pray again.

It is true what I said... about my imagination carrying on into my dreams and how I am usually careful of what I see/read before bed. Luckily, although I was reading This Present Darkness before I went to bed lastnight, I also was watching Under the Tuscan Sun - a movie that is one of my favourites because I really loved visiting Italy. So, I didnt' sleep that well, thinking of Italy half the night. However, when my son woke in the night around 2am and I nursed him back to sleep, that was when my thoughts turned to the things I read in the book, thoughts of evil spirits & heavenly hosts, and sitting in the dark actually made me somewhat nervous lastnight, so I prayed. I cuddled my son and I prayed.

This afternoon, it seemed like a 'series of unfortunate events' unfurled in front of me as one upsetting thing after another happened to me in less than an hour. My first instinct was to raise my fist to Heaven and lament 'why me, Lord? Hasnt' my week been bad enough?' but then I thought of the other side of the battle. The side of evil throwing all these awful things into my path causing me sadness & weariness & feelings of defeat all so close together. Ah ha, I thought, you start to learn more about the spiritual realm & their affects on the world and they see fit to up the anti and pounce you a little harder. And so I prayed!

I must confess the 'unfortunate events' didn't stop at that prayer! Next, I dropped a jar of Ragu in the grocery aisle, shattering the glass, splattering a huge mess & making me feel humiliated and near tears, but suceeded to make it home before bursting into a sob & pouring a glass of wine. But shortly after my outburst, I could only look back on the past hour or so and laugh. What a mess of nasty things trying to ruin my afternoon one after another!! And why? I had moments of anger, embarassment, sadness & defeat all within the span of 90 minutes!! Talk about kicking me while I'm down.

But here I am, smiling about it and clinging to my new word of the year "prayer". And I don't think I chose this word lightly or that it will be easy. Learning to pray is actually a big deal, a task that will require me to think about it daily, to make an effort to do. One too easy to forget, too easy to ignore but too important to survive.

So, I will pray. I will learn to pray. I will try to pray. And I will see what becomes of 2010.

This Present Darkness

"For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers or this present darkness..." Ephesians 6:12 (RSV)

So out of sheer boredom lastnight (and being trapped in the livingroom for a few moments) I picked up "This Present Darkness" by Frank Peretti. Its been on my shelf for some time. Always with intentions of getting read but unfortunately, I only have time to read at night. My mom read the series years ago & thought it was great and encouraged me to read it... in the day time. heheh Because, I have always posessed a vivid imagination that carries thru into my dreams. For this reason, I do not watch scary or suspenseful shows at night... or read scarey or suspenseful BOOKS at night. Because inevitably, they make their way into my dreams.

However, I feel like I'm ready to read this book. It took me several tries to 'get into it'. I like a book that can hook me in the first few paragraphs... this one failed to do so. (What can I say, I read the Twilight series like every other tween and stay-at-home mom... they were gripping! LOL)

But somewhere around page 45 it finally got my interest... when the warriors of heaven were introduced!! Amazing! So I read on. And in just a few short pages I am overwhelmed with the reminder of how much prayer can intercede for us. And how little of this type of praying I've ever done in my life... especially for anyone else.

I think many Christians don't spend much time thinking about the spiritual battle that is warring on every side of them 24-7. The world likes the airy-fairy thoughts of guardian angels, some nicey-nice creature that prevented them from slipping on the ice, or getting hit by a rogue driver. Sure... I buy that. I think they are there doing that for us as well. But that's definitely the easiest part of their jobs. And I'm pretty sure the images of chubby cherubs or whispy fairies with wings makes these mammoth warriors roll their eyes & draw their swords. No, I don't think our guardian angels are meek & mild, but fierce, powerful and strong.

However... should we just be content knowing that they are there, fighting the battles while we carry on our lives, unimpressed by their presence? Again I wonder, what is our roll in this battle that surrounds us daily? How do we fight the battle we can't see with our eyes? How do we survive spiritual warfare when we hardly take the time to acknowledge that it exists?

We all read about the "Armour of God" in Sunday School like its some childish costume to be adorned. I picture a shield with the word "faith" etched into the steel ... but I don't consider a way to strengthen my faith. And the sword of the spirit? How can I wield the weapon with any usefulness if I can't pull my strength from the Spirit of God... and so on with each part of armour.

I might as well be going to battle naked & unarmed because that is how little I know of fighting a spiritual battle.

Ahh, but the most important piece of armour that I can wield at any time and again is prayer. The piece that I most often forget. It can be a whisper for a protection from an evil presence... or a shout, commanding them to flee before Jesus' name.

Lately, my prayers have been "all about me", asking a lot of questions, mostly 'why' and 'when'. Wondering, hoping, straining to listen for the replies. Forgetting the battle around me, around us all, forgetting anyone else, the rest of us, the rest of you, intercession, or praise. Forgetting that I'm called to be a warrior as well, not just standing on the side, high-fiving my 'guardian' for fighting my battle and assuming he will always win it for me.

I underlined one line in the book tonight and that is when I paused my reading to come here. When the 'praying pastor' is being encouraged to give up because he might not survive what could come next and he says this: "maybe I won't come out alive. But God didn't tell me I'd come out alive; he just told me to stay and fight."

Stay and fight, friends!

So its been a while...

Its been quite a long time since I blogged. Over a year obviously. I don't know if anyone reads this anymore and that's ok. Just sort of needed to get it going again to filter some of my own thoughts.

2009 was both wonderful & tough on us. Many wonderful moments spent with the joy of our lives, our blessing, our son, Ethan. He fills every corner of our home with love, laughter & smiles. Who could ask for more?

But we've had some frustrating moments, some stressful moments & some sad moments too. And while 2009 ended on a high & happy note, 2010 has started on a sad one. And it has left us confused, angry, and wondering what the whole year has in store from us when it starts this way.

We know we want to move in this year, we hope that we can sell our house & finally move on as 2009 felt like a LOT of waiting in limbo, discontentment and wondering where we will go next.

It really feels like God has been silent to us for a long time. While we know we are surrounded by His blessings daily, I can't help but sing the words "He gives & takes away" over & over a lot lately. I get the giving... I don't get the taking away, the silence, the leaving us wondering! Its easy to get wrapped up in the silence & the taking away or the denying. I know the blessings are there too. I see it in the precious blue eyes of my child 100x a day, in the smile of my husband, in the coziness & love that flows thru our little house. I feel it in our bubble... but it feels like it too could be gone in a heartbeat, in a whisper, in a blink if I'm not greatful for it every minute. And I am. But... it seems the desires of our hearts are getting squashed over & over again. We are afraid to want. Afraid to dream. Afraid to make new goals. Afraid of the 'taking away'

I'm not as strong as Job. I'm having a hard time 'praising in the storm'. My patience for many things is getting weaker & weaker. I suppose its forcing me to live in and love the moment. But the future is out there, whether we plan or dream about it or not.

And what's in the future. Inevitable world suffering, sin, death, plagues, disturbances, terrorism, destruction... it seems so bleak. Not that I would give up the present knowing what's in store for this earth in the future but it does make me stop & take stock. What should our next step be as Christians? How should we be preparing for this coming future? Sitting in a pew singing songs? On bended knee praying for peace? Or preparing for the battle that is to be ours? I think we're asked to prepare. Praying is part of it for sure... but peace is not what we should be asking for, I think we need to be asking for strength and wisdom. The only peace will come much later. I don't think Christians will have a meek roll in these coming times. I don't think our God calls us to be armed only with a message of salvation.

See, so many thoughts of the future coupled with living in the present. It feels so contradictory. Lawrence & I talk about THAT future a lot & wonder what our roll will be when the going starts to get really tough for this planet. And yet... we face daily battles in our present and seek out our daily blessings to keep us focused on the good instead of just the bad.

So, I guess I'm just thinking about this coming year, hoping for clarity, hoping for God's voice, His direction and less of His silence. We've asked for Him in 2009 to shout at us, we've listened for the quiet voice and heard neither. So, I guess I need to find a new way to listen in 2010.

It's Harder To Blog These Days

.... when everything in life becomes one-handed, and a left hand at that!

That being said, life is certainly adaptable to all these changes. My body gets used to less sleep and my heart expands so it can fit in all these new feelings of love and joy. And, I can type pretty well with one hand! :)

Thoughts After Midnight

"You can talk to me, lamb, I'll keep your secrets"

"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven" Ecclesiastes 3:1

My how things change in life in a short period of time! When I first started this blog I was needing a way to express the thoughts going thru my head about myself, my God and my photos. And I searched thru blogland looking for some similar bloggers & made contact with several of you through your blogs because of this.

At the time I couldn't believe how many 'stay at home mom' type of blogs there were. Having no desire to start having children at that time, I most likely skimmed past those blogs in order to read others.

Hard to believe I'm one of those types now, my whole world suddenly changed & consumed by this tiny miracle of life called 'baby'.

While things like nature photography, hiking & adventures have gone on the back-burner, life has become a new sort of adventure I suppose. No time to photograph God's outdoor beauty, there are no shortage of subjects indoors. Like chubby toes, gummy smiles, and downy hair.

And my body may not be healed enough to go hiking yet, but a walk to town with a stroller is the newest outdoor challenge for us, small wheels bumping over side-walk joints and the fervent wish that a small boy will stay asleep while getting the benefit of the fresh air & God-made vitamin D.

As the season changes outside to my favourite season of fall, the colors slowly change, I'm no less reminded of God's majesty in creation but those thoughts fall by the wayside as I am awestruck of His miracle creation of my son.

Yes, things change! Thank you, Lord, for changes, outdoors, indoors & in our hearts.

Baby Days

Ethan Jacob Wolfe

Born July 23

My baby boy is one month old today!!

Time has both flown & dragged in this month. Becoming parents is overwhelmingly awesome & tiring. Healing from giving birth makes time stand still. Spending days with a little one makes time fly.

He is wonderful. We are blessed that he is a good baby while we struggle with healing & learning & exhaustion & learning the whole routine.

He is so precious & we are so in love!

6 days old

Can't Sleep...Giving Thanks

Preparaions for baby are still happening around here - a dresser was built, a crib put together & placed and lots of sorting & organizing happening - my wonderful hard-working husband is in dreamland & I'm back out of bed wide awake.

Excited? Anxious? Restless? I'm not sure which!

The funny thing is I have the song "This is the day that the Lord has made" running through my head. Not sure if its reminding me of the day I just had or preparing me for the day that is about to become?

Today was rather simple - sunny but not too hot. Enjoyable enough to keep all the windows open without turning on the air - I'm thankful for that. Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer - the a/c may need to be on but it might also mean I get to splash around in my pool (my pregnancy investment - a kiddie pool) and I would be thankful for that as well. Maybe its just a reminder that I need to be thankful each day, even for the simple things like plastic pools and breezey days.

With this babe racing around my womb like its practicing for the olympics, its hard to lay down & let my body relax. I suppose any mother will tell me that the worrying only begins during pregnancy & probably will last for life. As we draw to the close of this phase of our lives and we look at embarking on the next one: parenthood, there are plenty of things I could be worried about...and I'm sure I will be. So, I'm just trying to be thankful for the moment to moment things. Thankful that my baby is so active that I get constant reassurance that things are ok in there. Thankful that I'm feeling great & not having any complications. Thankful for the abnormally cool spring - helps keep the gardens growing, keeps the a/c off, and keeps me from being too warm. Thankful that my husband's business keeps him busy enough that we can be financially able to provide for ourselves & this new little miracle. Yes, there are many MORE things to be thankful for than there are to be worrying about.

And while I may not be ready for sleeping yet tonight, I'm reminded that "this is the night that the Lord has made" - He's right here in the night time as well as the day and some night things can be special too - the breeze rustling the leaves, crickets singing at us till dawn, the odd frog croaking (probably wishing to eat those crickets) and the quietness of a household in slumber.

What do you know - the baby has settled down in my belly ... maybe I can get some sleep afterall.

Good night friends!

I'm coming back - honest!

As usual, time is flying and I've been uncreative in blog land.

But it feels like summer is here & the world around me in in blossom - actually, the world OF me is in blossom too as we have less than two months until our little one makes his or her debut in this world.

I just wanted to check in & say hi & let you know that I plan on being back real soon.

Where Have I Been?

Hello Friends! Thanks so much for asking, wondering & waiting patiently. I'm here and I'm still appreciative of blogs & blogging. I just feel my whole little world has been wrapped up in 'being pregnant' that some days I don't know what to say or even where to start.

A quick recap on my life this past month or so.

Spring has arrived in the Okanagan and the world is greening up around me. The crocuses have finished their blooming, tulips are about at the half-way point and all my other perrenials are making their presence known. In a couple weeks, my yard will be BURSTING with lilac blooms and I will be praising God for one of my most favourite flowers & fragrances. I can't wait.

I've been digging up irises. Seriously! I hate those things. They take over like a giant tuberous weed. I want to plant some other things and so where I can take up the battle, I am. I can't work in the garden for long because my belly seems to get in the way but I make small efforts. What a strange & amusing root system irises have. They are FUN to dig up because the challenge of unearthing this large bulbous thing cracks me up. Did you ever see the Harry Potter movie where they planted mandrakes? This is what the iris root looks like to me. I dug them all up, loaded them in the wheelbarrow & then wheeled them over to my husband to see if he agreed. We figured any minute they would start shreeking at us.

So, I hope to clear some spots to put more perrenials. More daisies, a spirea bush, one more lilac bush and maybe a burning bush. Flowers & foliage. How I love this time of year!

Lawrence and I had a first on Sunday. Our pastor & his wife were away at a conference and so the two of us led worship. Though our newly formed little congregation is rather tiny, we are a great family of believers and so standing up there in front of that little group of friends wasn't as intimidating as I thought it would be. Apparently we even did a good job & picked some pretty good songs. It was fun picking the songs & practicing together. I always beam with pride when I hear him play guitar & sing but to be able to be singing together was always a dream of mine even before I met him because I've loved to sing for so long. I felt oh-so-blessed that it was something we could do together! Thank you Lord for the gift of music!!

As for the pregnancy stuff, things are going great. I am, apparently, a model patient according to my wonderful doctor. Everything is normal, measuring well & no complications so to speak. Our little one is VERY active and spends half the day booting, dancing, wiggling and swimming around in my womb much to my amusement. All the nausea & morning sickness is finally gone - aside from regular morning routine stuff, I'm feeling really good. I am amazed what the female body can do! Though I wear out really easy and have no strength because I was feeling so awful all winter, I am happy that its spring so I can get outside, walk a bit, stretch a bit and just embrace this new & exciting time in our lives. I promise I'll post a photo eventually!

Although I haven't been actively posting them, I still invite you to visit the site for the Voice of the Martyrs at www.persecution.com and pray for our brothers and sisters that are imprisoned, harmed, humiliated, even tortured for their faith. Pray that they will stay strong in their faith. Pray for their health and their safety. Pray that they will know of God's love & steadfastness even in the midst of their persecution. And if you have even more time, write them letters of encouragement.

Thanks for stopping by. I'll try to post more often and visit your blogs more when I get the chance as wel.

Just A Little

"A little that a righteous man has is better than the riches of many wicked." Pslam 37:16

We live in a little old house, and for this I am thankful. 2 bedrooms, one bath, an office area, a kitchen, eating area & living room. That's it! Some days it feels too small. And with the new baby coming, I'm sure some days its going to feel even smaller. Some days I wish for an extra bathroom or a little more closet space. Some days I think cleaning the floors will never end and wouldn't wish for one more square foot.

Even though its a small house I'm appreciative what we have. We've made it a home. Its cozy, its welcoming & warm, and its our happy place. You could call it a Love Nest but we want all who visit to feel the love & welcome that's there too, despite its size & age.

Like everyone, we have goals & dreams for where we'll live next. More property, another bedroom or two for our growing family, maybe a view, and definitely room for a shop for Lawrence's business. Some days we scan the realty pages and drool over bigger & beautiful homes. Homes you can get lost in with many rooms and areas.

But when we come home, we are always grateful for what we have.

I think when I spent some time in Africa it help me put a few things in perspective. While we travelled, we lived with the bare necessities...but we saw so many living with even LESS! At times we felt sorry for the ones in tiny huts & tiny villages. But what shocked me most was that they didn't seem to feel sorry for themselves. I saw joy! I saw laughter! I saw sharing & caring for eachother! And I felt so much welcome for each place we visited! What was there to feel sorry about? The little they had brought them joy anyways.

I think I need that reminder more often!

Joy!

"You visit the earth and water it, You greatly enrich it;... You crown the year with Your goodness ... the little hills rejoice on every side... they shout for JOY, they also sing." ~ Psalm 65: 9, 11, 12, 13

I feel like singing & shouting for joy today! It is a BEAUTIFUL sunny day and Spring is definitely in the air. But now I see, it is also bursting from the ground. For the last week or so I have been scoping out my backyard, waiting for those first signs of life poking thru with green shoots! Those first blades of the crocus plant. Today I found them. Oh, I'm sure they've been popping up in yards everywhere for a couple weeks now, but these are in my yard, and my yard gets a lot of shade so I had to be patient!

And today my patience paid off. For there they were stretching out of the cold damp earth and reaching towards heaven, towards the warmth of the sun.

Yes, the ice is still on the lakes, yes there is still snow in the corners of the yard and yes, chances are real that a few flakes could STILL fall, but these little heralds of spring pay no attention to all that and reach through all the same!

Praise God for greatly enriching the earth!

Still Waiting

"Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage" Psalm 27:14

Its certainly not kayaking season yet!

Spring is starting to let its presence be known here in the valley. The sun has been coming out for us and for people like me, having a sunny day changes my whole attitude. I love the sun. Winters can be so dreary here and when we have sunny days I feel the sun in my soul. It encourages me. I had been waiting to feel its warmth on my face! And now, in mid-February, its finally gaining some warmth. The temps rise above freezing, the snow is melting and believe it or not, rumors of crocuses in bloom are being whispered here & there.

And so, another sunny and somewhat warm day, I took myself down to the lake. I was greeted with this huge ice shelf full of cracks & caverns. On the side of the lake where the wind blows the most it pushes the ice up onto the shore to make amazing formations!

I got up close & took some photos, hearing the ice cracking, breaking & dripping all around me. I stomped the softer ice to encourage it to break & melt sooner. I threw rocks out a little further to see how strong it was...still pretty strong.

And so, we are still waiting for the warmth, the thaw and the sign of green things. But I am thankful for sunny days to encourage & warm my soul. I'm thankful that the ice can hold some wonder for me while I wait for it to melt away.

"...and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord." Psalm 27:14