Monday, May 21, 2007

The Contentious Woman: Proverbs 21

"It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman... It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman." Proverbs 21: 9 & 19

Nag! Nag! Nag! Oh how us women can nag sometimes! No wonder men want to head for the hills! It can go both ways, but its usually the woman who tends to be called a nag.

Webster defines 'contentious' as "exhibiting an often perverse and wearisome tendency to quarrels and disputes." I bet we all know some contentious people. They always seem to try & pick a fight, start an argument for no reason. Its like they aren't quite happy when there isn't something to be annoyed with or angry at. These people should be our shining examples of what NOT to be! Being around a contentious person can be so exhausting. Imagine how it can be for our spouses when WE are the nagging ones.

It can become very easy to talk to the ones we love the most with the least respect. You find a level of comfort in the way you treat your spouse & it becomes normal to just carry on with it. Soon the joking comments can become more serious. Instead of being the one who should be building up the most praise & confidence in the one we love, we can become the ones that are tearing them down & criticizing their every move. And often, we don't know that we are doing it.

Pay attention to the way you speak to your loved ones this week. If you find you can treat perfect strangers with more respect or kinder words than your spouse or your children, its time to re-evaluate your words. We don't want our loved ones hiding in a corner of the house or fleeing to the wilderness because they can't stand hearing the words we say. "Speak words of love."


  1. Anonymous10:55 PM

    Great way to start the week sis, as one you know can be a terrible nag (after all I am your mother) I will determine to watch my words this week, thanks for the reminder

  2. Nag? Who, me?
    I merely offer caustic observations.

  3. just thought i would pop in to say hello and to say i love what you are doing here...

  4. And we don't HAVE to nag to get our way... in fact, the opposite is true. If we NAG, we cause them to run and hide, but if we simply set a quiet mood, put our arms lovingly around our spouse and ask in a gentle and meek way, why they melt like smarties in our hands!

    And I hadda look the word nag up, 'cuz you looked up contentious! My WordWeb says:


    1. Bother persistently with trivial complaints - "She nags her husband all day long"

    2. Worry persistently - "she nagged to take a vacation"


    1. Someone (especially a woman) who annoys people by constantly finding fault

    2. An old or over-worked horse

    and the cinnonems (synonyms in real life) are:

    common scold

    ooohhh - don't want to be any of these... can you please keep me in check, my Becks... if I 'pear to be heading this way?

    I am enjoying my time w/ my MIL & FIL - miss you tho! You're in my prayers... how WAS your weekend???

    *hugs* Mrs. Barb

  5. Thank you Becky for reminding me to watch my words. Sometimes i really don 't and have to bite my tongue.

  6. Thanks for this good reminder to pause before we speak.

    I'm in no way an expert on this but I've been trying to ask myself---before I speak---is this going to be edifying? Then suddenly I find myself re-wording my thought (before it comes out) or I conclude it should not be said at all.

    It's amazing how many thoughts should not be said at all!

    Definition of Edify: to build; to construct

    Another Definition of Edify: to instruct in a way to uplift

  7. This was most enlightening. Thank you ! I just realized that I do it and don't even know it. I need to really pay attention to what I say before I say it !!